Search For
 

 
Discussion Groups: The Lounge


Topic: Relationship: How much can one person take...
0 Like(s)   


Page1 2Next>
Aline

10/6/2013 9:21:46 AM
Member since:
Sep 2008
Total posts:170
Relationship: How much can one person take...

They say God only gives you what you can handle...maybe someone forgot to tell him I am just a woman, not a bulldozer. First I had to leave my husband 2 years ago now, because I couldn't take the cheating anymore. Then I struggled to make ends meet and couldn't keep up. Now my husband passed away a few months ago. I guess my love was still strong because I have fallen into a deep depression and can't climb out. My dead husband had a son who has helped himself to a lot of things including lawnmower, ladder, tools, tv's and vehicles. I have since moved back into the house, cleaned up the jungle outside with a borrowed mower, no tools to fix things and ladder to clean eaves. I have a water cystern that is almost empty and no $100 to fill and not sure how many flushes I have left, bell wants me to pays the outstanding bill for the estate before hooking me up, lawyer bleeding me dry, been here month and a half without being able to buy groceries and now just to make things even worst, my electric furnace had a fire in it so I have no heat or money to call for help. I am getting some sick benefits but with having to pay legal fees, there is nothing left. What does someone do...besides cry. I don't really need an answer, I guess I just need to vent and say that even the toughest people can break and God should know that, or maybe that is his plan. Thanks for letting me vent...

Edited by admin, 2013-10-06 14:20:37. Reason: title

 
 
  Advertisement
 
socialmom

10/6/2013 9:27:41 AM
Member since:
Jun 2012
Total posts:207
Awwww

Aline, I feel for you....I have no easy answers for you but I understand your pain. Hang in there dear, it will get better. Try to surround yourself with supportive people that love you. God is there in the dark with you, that I know...although it may not seem like it. One day at a time is all you can do. Thinking of you and praying everything will work itself out! Hugs!

Doug

10/6/2013 10:20:37 AM
Member since:
Mar 2005
Total posts:6753
Friends

Lean on friends right now. Second - see if you can find a way to lock your home/change your locks and tell/ask your husbands son to either help or go away. Pm me with your needs as far as household stuff. Furnace- call Hydro- they have ways that can help you.  
 
Being at the end of your rope and weighted down happens to all of us. Our family is taking a kicking now. We all have busy lives and work and are down to one car between three. Two blown motors this month.  
 
Long list of other issues and yep you look up and ask.  
 
I had a pay forward done this month that amazed me. I returned the Fave twice but still feel the need.  
 
Take care and yes- one day at a time. oh on the Water. You may have to hand bomb. 45 litre x2 for a washer if I remember and not much for toilet if done right. Ahhh the old days of frozen pipes in a mobile home.  
 
Check out the wishes portion of this site! Hang tough- it may be bleak but it can always be worse. Trust me on that one.  
 
Edited by Doug, 2013-10-06 10:25:18

irritable

10/6/2013 11:03:17 AM
Member since:
Oct 2010
Total posts:109
CPP Survivor benefit

Have you applied for the above benefit? You mentioned something about sick benefits but not CPP.

NoCares

10/6/2013 11:17:13 AM
Member since:
Jan 2009
Total posts:2788
4623y6352

Visit the food bank for some groceries. It helps. I've used it once, and have donated to it as well.  
 
The rest of the stuff I cannot help on. Lean on the family and friends that you have, see if any of them can help.

Debums

10/6/2013 12:53:46 PM
Member since:
Mar 2011
Total posts:14
Neighbour will help

Aline - we are neighbours - live north of the store, last house. Please let me know what we can do to help.

Debums

10/6/2013 12:57:04 PM
Member since:
Mar 2011
Total posts:14
Water

We also have a water tank and could haul water for you.

curlysister

10/6/2013 12:58:44 PM
Member since:
Sep 2009
Total posts:2123
benefit

There is the monthly survivor benefit, as well as the up to $2500 death benefit. Be sure you have applied for both.

Aline

10/6/2013 1:09:01 PM
Member since:
Sep 2008
Total posts:170
Thanks

Thanks everyone for all your comments....Thanks neighbour. That's all I have right now...but it felt good to vent so thanks for letting me

IMO

10/6/2013 1:19:48 PM
Member since:
Oct 2011
Total posts:505
IMO

  
Aline said "They say God only gives you what you can handle...maybe someone forgot to tell him I am just a woman, not a bulldozer. First I had to leave my husband 2 years ago now, because I couldn't take the cheating anymore. Then I struggled to make ends meet and couldn't keep up. Now my husband passed away a few months ago. I guess my love was still strong because I have fallen into a deep depression and can't climb out. My dead husband had a son who has helped himself to a lot of things including lawnmower, ladder, tools, tv's and vehicles. I have since moved back into the house, cleaned up the jungle outside with a borrowed mower, no tools to fix things and ladder to clean eaves. I have a water cystern that is almost empty and no $100 to fill and not sure how many flushes I have left, bell wants me to pays the outstanding bill for the estate before hooking me up, lawyer bleeding me dry, been here month and a half without being able to buy groceries and now just to make things even worst, my electric furnace had a fire in it so I have no heat or money to call for help. I am getting some sick benefits but with having to pay legal fees, there is nothing left. What does someone do...besides cry. I don't really need an answer, I guess I just need to vent and say that even the toughest people can break and God should know that, or maybe that is his plan. Thanks for letting me vent... "

Sent you a pm

Aline

10/6/2013 2:12:41 PM
Member since:
Sep 2008
Total posts:170
Benefits

I am receiving survivor benefits but before my husband died, I was living in Wpg with my sister and our lease is until April so I still need to pay my share so thank god for that benefit. I am sure things will work themselves out, I was/am just feeling overwhelmed. Thanks for all the thoughts and I am sorry dumping like that. Being away a couple years, I forgot how wonderful the people are around here.

traveller

10/6/2013 2:58:43 PM
Member since:
Jun 2007
Total posts:8965
>

that sure is a big pile on you right now and its completely understandable that you are upset about your exs death, he meant enough for you to marry and i would expect you still to have some sort of feelings i actually would think probably a lot of confusing conflicting ones too, then add all the money and family stress, wow  
 
water can be hauled cheap you just need to lean on a friend or neighbor, don't feel bad reach out and ask sounds like you have a good one at least, probably more too, until you get help only flush when you have to or even go outside, save the water for washing hands, just like the pioneer days lol go ahead and go to the food bank too, thats what its for and make a wish in the wishes section too  
 
good luck and try and smile  
 

AndreaD.

10/6/2013 10:39:03 PM
Member since:
Dec 2011
Total posts:667
sometimes...

Sometimes when God gives you too much to handle it is simply to remind you that you can't handle it on your own. Count it as a blessing, even if you don't feel that way right now. Trust God knows what He is doing...even when you can't make sense of it at all.  
You were despressed, overwhelmed and overtaxed, feeling out of your depth and completely alone. You are not alone, people do care. Already God has led you to a neighbor who cares about you. He has led you to learn people, even strangers, care about you. You have already had help from people who have lent tools and ladders. Perhaps it was a blessing the step son took stuff, it gives you the need, opportunity and occassion to connect with those around you.  
Sorry to hear of the death of your husband. Sorry to know you are hurting and suffering. But embrace your grieving and grieve without shame. And remember with fondness the good things about your ex, bury the pain and resentment you may have harboured in the past.  
If it feels like God is giving you too much, remember that he knows what he is doing. He is only giving you so much because he knows you can handle it. Sometimes we only handle what we have no choice but to handle. Sometimes we go through tough times only so we are better able to help those around us. Maybe it is so one day you are better able to help your son, or grandson, or neighbor...or a stranger on ebrandon. :•)  
Trust God. Just repeat over and over "i don't know your plan God, but i trust you completely. If You know i can do it, then i can do it...even if i don't know how."  
I have been down dark lonely roads many times before too. One thing i have learned is not to worry...God will take care of it, it always works out in the end somehow.  
I can't help with money issues as i am on a tight budget myself, but if i can help you in any other way pm me. Even if you just want to talk or just want someone to pray for you. I don't consider myself a particularily religious person and i swear like a pirate. But i do truly, completely and wholy believe in God...He has been there for me when i was going through dark and traumatic times too. Sometimes miracles come in the form of strangers just being there to lend a helping hand, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to let you know when you want to vent, grieve, rage...it is okay to do so. It is okay to feel the way you feel.  
God bless you, and i will keep you in my prayers, Aline. If God thinks you are strong enough to carry the cross, then do so. But if you stumble like Jesus did, then like Jesus, that is when you find people will be by your side to help you carry that cross.  
 
Edited by , 2013-10-06 22:42:10

cdnkevlar

10/17/2013 10:36:23 AM
Member since:
Mar 2012
Total posts:3
reliability

I think it's really easy for religious folk to believe that all that is wrong in there life is gods will. Personally I believe you carve your own path and it's up to you to make take the lead and make the changes in order to better your quality of life. And don't let yourself be pushed around! If there is a god, it likes what I'm doing. Looking out for my best interest. However I do not believe there is a god.

Wildfire

10/22/2013 9:38:15 AM
Member since:
Jan 2013
Total posts:12
How much can one person take..............

Perhaps one has to help oneself in order to survive and not take ADVANTAGE of others!!!!!

Rico

10/30/2013 1:13:19 AM
Member since:
Jun 2005
Total posts:3657
Aline

What do you need? PM me

Wildfire

10/30/2013 6:19:46 PM
Member since:
Jan 2013
Total posts:12
How much can one person take..............

Get the facts before you start being taken advantage of.

Calcium

10/30/2013 6:34:44 PM
Member since:
Jul 2011
Total posts:77
Wildfire

Take a hike. Carberry is 100% right. You don't sound very christian.

Catberry

10/30/2013 6:41:58 PM
Member since:
Jun 2012
Total posts:119
.

  
Wildfire said "Get the facts before you start being taken advantage of. "

You keep dumping your venom in here but don't present any facts. The dark ages called, your self-righteous bigotry is more welcomed there.

Aline

10/30/2013 10:31:36 PM
Member since:
Sep 2008
Total posts:170
Wildfire

I am not sure why you are saying those things. You are so wrong. You don't know.....  
 
Edited by Aline, 2013-10-30 22:57:26

Aline

10/30/2013 10:50:02 PM
Member since:
Sep 2008
Total posts:170
Wildfire

I am sorry you feel the way that you do. There is no sob story only the truth about what I was feeling when I wrote the original post. I think you need to read it again and tell me what it is I asked for. I did receive emotional support an offers to help fix things but I have been fixing what I can on my own. So if that is taking advantage of people then I am wrong. I was overwhelmed and vented but I did not ask for or expect anything. You obviously think you know me. Are you perhaps one of the women he was involved with....it would sure explain your attitude towards me.  
 
Edited by Aline, 2013-10-30 23:07:04

AndreaD.

10/30/2013 11:07:26 PM
Member since:
Dec 2011
Total posts:667
ignore wildfire...

Misery loves company and unfortunately there are plenty of bitter miserable people out there who will try to bring you down. In my experience it is usually because they cannot elevate themselves up.  
 
How are you doing Aline? I hope things are going a little better for you. I have thought of you often and even though i don't know you, i do know about those overwhelming though times.  
I was listening to a song earlier that strikes a chord with my life and also made me think of you (and several other people i know who are going through troubled times). It is called "strong enough" by mathew west.  
 
<:A target="_blank" HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8JsRxVczmQ&sa=X&ei=kttxUoakGKi9yAGKioGAAQ&ved=0CBIQqwQ">:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8JsRxVczmQ&sa=X&ei=kttxUoakGKi9yAGKioGAAQ&ved=0CBIQqwQ<:/A>:  
 
 
Edited by , 2013-10-30 23:27:01

Aline

10/30/2013 11:26:02 PM
Member since:
Sep 2008
Total posts:170
Strong enough

Oh my! What a perfect song. Thanks you so much for sharing it with me. I am getting stronger emotionally thanks to people like you who understand the importance of having someone to talk to and hearing encouraging words. I am so thankful to everyone for listening and sharing. It was more helpful than you know. I still have struggles ahead but I will face them one at the time and I will survive them.

AndreaD.

10/30/2013 11:29:30 PM
Member since:
Dec 2011
Total posts:667
video

Changed the link. I like this video better...way more inspiring.

67Cuda

10/31/2013 10:22:12 PM
Member since:
Oct 2010
Total posts:134
What makes me sick....

Is that it takes a really big person to speak ill of the dead. Especially when they cannot obviously defend themselves.

AndreaD.

10/31/2013 10:49:30 PM
Member since:
Dec 2011
Total posts:667
speak ill of the dead?

When did she speak ill of the dead that could not be verified? I am more sickened by all the bashers that speak ill of the living and use this forum to validate thier own personal choices.  
Nowhere did i read a post from Aline that spoke of anything other than heartache and pain and, yes, regret. Facts are facts. Nobody is perfect, but it doesn't mean people should be blind to their loved one's imperfections. Nor does it mean one should tolerate certain behaviours. But acknowleging imperfections and being unable to tolerate certain behaviours does not mean the love ends. Instead it usually leads to regrets, sorrow, and pain of accepting what is vs. what could have/should have been.  
 
Aline, don't let naysayers and bitter people hold you down. There is enough pain in your life as it is. I get what you were saying in your original post. I get that he wasn't a bad man, just a man who made some bad choices. That is where it hurts so much. Aline, never regreting the choices you made. But do regret the situations that caused you to have to make those choices. If you made a different choice, would it have made your life better? In your heart, you know the answer. But it still hurts to know that hope and dream of what could be never will be. Grieve in your honest pain. Grieve for what will never be and try to remember the good parts of what was. It does ease the sorrow and will keep bitterness at bay. That much i do know from experience. And like your faith, hold onto your love unashamed. It is what it is...there is nothing wrong in admitting your honest feelings. Your feelings and memories are yours, nobody can take that from you. Keep them close and keep them precious, regardless of how imperfect and tarnished and broken they are.

67Cuda

10/31/2013 11:10:07 PM
Member since:
Oct 2010
Total posts:134
AndreaD

She IS speaking ill of him by coming onto a public forum and accusing him of cheating on her when he obviously cannot defend himself. There are ALWAYS two sides to every story.

Aline

10/31/2013 11:45:58 PM
Member since:
Sep 2008
Total posts:170
Happydays

I am not trying to bash anybody. He was a really good man who loved me and I loved him. Things happen. This is not even supposed to be about him so I don't know why that is the only line you saw unless there is more there to your reply....and there are always two sides and perhaps you have heard his??  
 
Andrea, thanks for understanding that I am not looking to use or hurt anyone, and for knowing what I am feeling.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Edited by Aline, 2013-11-01 00:12:33

axana596

11/1/2013 8:23:29 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Total posts:653
imho

For all you bashers, obviously you missed the part where she said there was obviously still love left, because when he died, she sank into a depression.  
 
Aline, coming from someone who knows, you should turn off the computer and not read anymore e-brandon because it will only bring you down.  
 
Get together with your church (if you have one) because they can help out emotionally, and perhaps even with groceries. Take care of yourself and listen to uplifting music and dance and smile, it'll lighten your heart.

Aline

11/3/2013 5:57:41 AM
Member since:
Sep 2008
Total posts:170
Rough one

Well, I got through this past week and it was a bit of a rough one at that. It was our wedding anniversary just a couple days ago and it is amazing how much I missed him and thought of all the love we had for each other. I love the way it felt when he would sneak up behind me while I did dishes, and give me the most tender, loving hugs. That spot in the kitchen is quite memorable because that is also where he proposed to me. I was doing dishes when he came into the kitchen, got down on one knee and told me how much he loved me and wanted me to be his wife. The best part is that our well had run dry and I was hauling jugs from work everyday so needless to say, we were hand washing and occasionally using the neighbor's shower. We had no water for 16 days and I was feeling kind of dirty that 14th day (of no water), when suddenly there he was proposing. To me, that was the most romantic moment. He loved me no matter what, as did I. I miss feeling that love. I miss that hug.  

 
Page1 2Next>


  Get E-mail/text alerts for this discussion    
Bookmark and Share
This thread has gone more than 90 days without a reply and has been closed as a result. Please feel free to start a new topic should you feel it is warranted.

   

Current Discussions

 
 
 

Classified Ads

 
 

Blogs

 
 

Local Business Directory

 
 
Brandon Extreme Clean
Specialized cleaning of sports gear, horse blankets, fire fighter gear and other hard to clean items. More..
Forman Auto Centre
Forman Auto Centre features Brandon's Honda Dealership, Brandon's Mazda Dealership, and the full service Forman Collision Centre. Bring your vehicle to us for the best quality in service. More..
Euphoria Salon
new location 138 10th Street (204)725-2777 More..