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Topic: profanity- help me understand
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eph2-8

11/2/2018 8:24:28 PM
Member since:
Dec 2009
Total posts:139
profanity- help me understand

I have a simple question:  
I take my grandkids out and whether we go to the wheat kings game or a movie we run into people who choose to use profanities especially the f word like any other word in their language.  
 
Is profanity to be considered normal?  
At what age is it ok? Elementary/ high school  
At all public or family gathering places?  
 
Do you teach your kids not to but you continue to?  
I see parents using this on their facebook pages as standard vocabulary. So when is it acceptable and when is it not.  
 
Is this a sign of immaturity and should we be saying to them like some parents say to very youn kids use your words?  
 
I just don’t get it and maybe hearing other comments would help me make sense of this.  
I don’t need anyone say because of religious reasons because I know both religious and non who use this language.

Spades!!

11/2/2018 8:33:31 PM
Member since:
May 2011
Total posts:773
I’m as confused as you OP

Would also love to hear what people use as an excuse to use profanity in everyday conversation.  
IMO it is base and ignorant. Makes a person sound crude.

sammy

11/2/2018 9:11:15 PM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:8254
..

I admit, I have a potty mouth, especially with a couple drinks in me. However, I can control it really well and will not do so in front of children or in a big public area where others may hear and not like it. I am almost 33 and never swore in front of my parents or grandparents. It’s a respect thing to me and I find it odd when people do so in front of theirs. As for the other times, idk why it comes out!! Lol

eph2-8

11/2/2018 10:08:36 PM
Member since:
Dec 2009
Total posts:139
potty mouth

ok it comes out and you accept this about yourself and maybe you are like the people at the wk game having a beer. I enjoy a good beer as well. so do you just accept this and make no effort to control this when not with people you respect. it just comes out.... what does this mean about you.... im asking direct questions.. does this just mean its all about you and you don't care that it just comes out....can you dumb this down for me... is it as simple as you just don't care.... and your right is more important than anyone else? respect only when in the room with those your respect...

Jordanical

11/2/2018 10:15:20 PM
Member since:
Oct 2018
Total posts:4
Profanity

The "f" word is one of the oldest words in the language with a pedigree and versatility that are pretty hard to match. It is a perfectly fine word. It's condemnation is in good part a hold over of class prejudice. F- is a vulgarity. Vulgar means of the common folk.  
 
A word is a sound, not unlike any, empty and hollow. It contains exactly the meaning and power that you (we) give it and not a trace more.  
 
Do I want to hear my 8 year old using it? Nope and I correct him if he does, but that is because I live in a society that still hasn't ditched the near stone-age notion that words are magic.  
 
But the problem isn't with the word. The problem is with you.

Cadbury Creme Egg

11/2/2018 10:16:10 PM
Member since:
Before Feb/07
Total posts:52
well, $&;!#...

I enjoy using colorful language. It helps me get through a bad day, a stubbed toe, or just because I feel like it. Although my vocabulary stays appropriate for the company I’m with at the time, I make no apologies about my crass when it spews

Happy Trails

11/2/2018 10:16:45 PM
Member since:
Feb 2011
Total posts:1013
well

Here's a link to a BBC story that examines the issue:  
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160303-the-surprising-benefits-of-swearing  
 
There are plenty more articles out there, some behind paywalls.

don brown

11/2/2018 10:20:10 PM
Member since:
Aug 2010
Total posts:4650
Profanity

I used a lot of choice words when I was younger, but sort of got away from it, that is until lately. I don't swear in public, but do stand in front of the television every time President Trump says something really idiotic, and calling him an idiot just doesn't express my true feelings.

myhandleistrain

11/2/2018 10:25:02 PM
Member since:
Mar 2016
Total posts:332
My opinion

It depends what you mean "considered normal." I grew up in an era when it was a mostly male dominated, blue collar group in regards to work and sports. Right or wrong, swearing was kind of a right of passage into manhood. Never in front of kids or anyone's parents. This is by no means meant to be chauvinistic, it was just the way it was.

navithefairy

11/3/2018 2:09:39 AM
Member since:
Aug 2016
Total posts:31
well

As Jordanical said, words have as much power as you'll give them. I do not swear at work and I avoid it in public since I know there are others who will consider it to be wrong/offensive. I think swear words are a healthy way of expressing displeasure and there are much unhealthier ones. They are only words. In response to the comment about 'rights'... we have a right to free speech in Canada, and you can get as offended as you want to by whichever word(s) you like and have the right to discuss that too.

axana596

11/3/2018 6:18:42 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Total posts:708
Well

In every society there are words/phrases that should not be said. Obeying social norms is part of that invisible social “contract”, but swearing does have a bit of wiggle room. For example, universally people find a 7-year old swearing to be distasteful and a sign of poor parenting, but acknowledge that most 15-year olds cuss a lot. When do they pick it up? When do adults stop frowning? That’s a grey area.

Ter

11/3/2018 8:55:35 AM
Member since:
Jan 2011
Total posts:191
The ";F"; word

My husband and son at times use this word in just about every sentence especially around other males. They don''t use it in front of other family members unless it slips out so I don''t know if you can call it a habit or not. I personally do not like it it all but I was raised in a household where it was never used.  
 
Edited by Ter, 2018-11-03 08:57:24

jimjab

11/3/2018 9:00:21 AM
Member since:
Jul 2014
Total posts:10
disappointed...

Couldn't help noticing when at john mellencamp concert afew days back that when he used the F word it drew great applause and laughter.This is the way to please a crowd today,I guess...Personaly I found it distasteful and stupid.Makes me wonder where we as a society are heading.

eph2-8

11/3/2018 9:08:18 AM
Member since:
Dec 2009
Total posts:139
another question

I grew up in core are Regina and then went on to blue collar work in order to afford to go to university, where I did grad studies. My "blue color" and lower educated tend to smoke more and tend to use profanity substantially more. as one comment made: is profanity a sign of someone more simple or less educated. I work with both well educated and not. Some of my not educated are extremely well off so income is not the issue... is education....or experiences with higher educated? is that also maybe out grown it because of the experience of post high school??? any thoughts....

Never been

11/3/2018 9:54:35 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Total posts:462
.

Educated or not, people of all income levels swear. I work with a few doctors who swear ALL the time. People are offended by anything nowadays. There are probably things you do that I might not agree with, but I don’t let it get to me. We can’t control the actions of others, stop trying.

ElGuapo

11/3/2018 10:03:59 AM
Member since:
May 2017
Total posts:9
Swearing

I swear, and I have a hard time limiting myself strictly. That said, I would rather my kids hear it at home from family than pick it up from another kid at school. We won't make a big deal about it so to not encourage the use of it for reaction (we will have a talk with them about it not being a word to use around everyone). In today's day in age, where everyone is so easily offended, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, so I tend to think that you'll never be able to expect that people monitor themselves around children of any age, so you'll have to do what's best for your family/situation at the time.  
 
Best of luck to you in whatever you, or anyone else on this topic, choose to do. Just don't judge others for doing it differently!!

frivolouspink

11/3/2018 10:06:11 AM
Member since:
Aug 2011
Total posts:409
The f word

being used as every adjective and adverb is the sign of a lazy uneducated person. If I can't walk away, I usually tune it out. This results in not hearing what the person had to say. I generally find I haven't missed much.  
The extremely odd time I use the F word, people sit up and take notice, which is the result I'm looking for.  
If I'm in a public place and find myself offended by the language, I speak up and say something. I find it pathetic that a lot of people have a very small vocabulary.

TEN

11/3/2018 10:38:03 AM
Member since:
Jul 2006
Total posts:2216
Self control

There is nothing wrong with having some self control. If you cannot control what comes out of your mouth, what else do you let slide.  
I used to use the F word a lot until I had to take a good look at what was holding me back in my life. Bad language came part and parcel with a bunch of other questionable behavior. I made a lot of changes. Now, I find myself cringing when I hear it and if it I should let one slip, I regret it immediately knowing that my esteem with those who heard it just dropped.  
I cannot respect myself when I use crass language, how can I respect others who do?

Adam

11/3/2018 10:38:46 AM
Member since:
Mar 2005
Total posts:15265
Profanity

It’s in there for me but only mainly seems to come out for toe stubs and kitchen accidents.  
 
When I’m listening to someone I’m paying attention to what they’re trying to say and so it’s likely I’ll glaze over the odd swear to get at what they’re trying to get across. Suppose for some folks that word is another way of putting an exclamation point on, tho not my choice (except when defending my toe’s honour) and not something we go out of our way to expose our young kiddo to.  
 
For adults it’s an adult choice and the huge majority have the sense to filter around young kids. Where things get a little trickier and one of the places it probably starts is taking kiddo to places where other kids are only a few years older (probably 10-12 if that). A lot at a very young age seem to use the word like it’s going out of style without a lot of awareness of (or interest in) their surroundings yet. I haven’t been a parent of a kid that age yet to be able to pass judgement but wonder if that’s a conversation parents have with any effectiveness?

eph2-8

11/3/2018 11:42:35 AM
Member since:
Dec 2009
Total posts:139
judgement

I started this and continue to listen to those posting. I need to add. I do not and I really mean that, mean this as a judgement. I really do want to understand why some choose to use it. I just don't understand this. My wife and I were recently in Europe and when going to a spa there was only 1 change room for both. open nudity was the norm. no judgement and when I had a massage at one place there was no draping. different cultures and different norms. I do not want to hijack my own post....on that topic. Still listening....  
I have 4 kids. none university educated and different trades and occupations... all will swear just not in my presence as a norm although the odd f word is dropped. no I don't make mention to anything, don't need to. they were not raised with me using it as it is not in my vocabular, hasn't been for 40 yrs. my choice a long time ago. my ex son in law has lots of it on his facebook uses it when at wk games as he sits with us, I just look at his kids age 11 and 13 who don't use it in my presence and wonder about what this is saying and what to expect from the next generation. is this something going by the wayside? we become more accustomed to a new standard? The same with gender neutral washrooms and showers. kids can choose which gender they want to relate to and that can dictate which change room ....another change in values....back to the profanity... just something for me to accept as the changing times? is that the take on this?

Adam

11/3/2018 11:53:12 AM
Member since:
Mar 2005
Total posts:15265
Profanity 2

Not long after I post this as I’m walking into the door at the mall with kiddo a couple young parents (or babysitters or much older siblings?) are coming out the same door with a young one... couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old. I’ll just say the words of the adultish ones in what seemed like casual conversation were colourful. Not my thing to assume something on ‘all’  for some or a few, but eyes opened just a little wider 

don brown

11/3/2018 11:57:33 AM
Member since:
Aug 2010
Total posts:4650
Humour is a good thing

Decided to reply to Adams comment, did you know that the only purpose of the human little toe is to make sure all the furniture is in the right place, more so at night.  
When it comes to parenting and kids swearing it seems to be one of those thing where it is a stage they go through that may me influenced by peer pressure or example, I never looked at it as a reflection of parents. Seems we each have to make our own way in life, and it is a learning experience.

Adam

11/3/2018 1:35:34 PM
Member since:
Mar 2005
Total posts:15265
Increase

For another perspective, just wanted to add this link below which does cite an increase in overall usage that correlated with an increase in individualism....  
https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.atlasobscura.com/articles/cursing-swear-words-individualism.amp

JackAzz

11/3/2018 1:57:10 PM
Member since:
Jul 2008
Total posts:1414
IMO

Its all about respect. I swear like a sailor at work with the guys, cuz I know they don't care. But never around my wife or kids, oe around anyone else who might not want to hear it.

fargobob

11/3/2018 2:03:45 PM
Member since:
Nov 2005
Total posts:3581
Colourful language

I've probably used every word out there that some would find offensive. I am selective of when I use those words, as to where I am and who I'm with, even to who might be listening, but when in the company of some people, I use whatever words best illustrate what I am trying to communicate.  
 
Both our society and language are evolving and will continue to do so. All change isn't always good, but it happens regardless. I'm unable to explain why public profanity is more common today than in days past except to say that over the years a lot of what was once socially unacceptable has become a lot closer to the norm, and our language is evolving the same way, like it or not.

MrDobalina

11/3/2018 5:38:29 PM
Member since:
Jun 2017
Total posts:259
Do you think Frick and Fudge are different?

I use the F word and the A word and the SH word more than I should but they are definitely the best words I can use when I use them to push the point I'm trying to make. What has always bothered me is the people who just say "FRICK" or "FUDGE" or "F-WORD" like that's better? Your still thinking the exact same thing as I am when you break those words out and more to the point the word that pops in my head when you say "F-WORD!! or Frick is...well, the word you're trying so hard not to say...so you may as well say it.  
 
I have worked with people who literally us the F word like a period to every sentence...to the point where its almost like an OCD thing..."I went to the bank ****, then I was asking the teller for my checking account balance ****..." those cases profanity confuses me.  
 
In my case, My grandparents used those words and my great grandparents used those words, my aunts and uncles, I don't know if it was a scottish/english thing but I just grew up with it. I knew better than to use that language around adults or people I didn't know...but what I notice sometimes is when I'm telling a story or joking around people after about 10 or 15 minutes they're dropping F bombs and SH bombs with as much frequency as I am.

Edited by admin, 2018-11-03 21:30:37. Reason: Language

SMM

11/3/2018 8:03:10 PM
Member since:
Dec 2012
Total posts:57
......

I would rather hear the words, a, s, or f than I would hear the words ignorant, lazy or uneducated. The first 3 are only words. I know a man that used the f word in every sentence sometimes twice. He was a minister and was the most generous, kind hearted person I ever met. With the godly way he led his life I'm pretty sure that God welcomed him at the gate with open arms. To some people swearing is a part of their vocabulary and they should be judged by their deeds and not by what someone deems inappropriate.

Edited by admin, 2018-11-03 21:32:22. Reason: Language

withallduerespect

11/3/2018 9:13:29 PM
Member since:
Jul 2013
Total posts:138
hear it on tv

The level of profanity allowed on tv now is very surprising to me. It’s like the tv producers are not even trying to block it. They zoom in on a guy in slow motion so even a blind person could read their lips. It’s a sign of the times, society as a hole is more accepting of it. It only has as much power as you give it.

Spades!!

11/4/2018 8:25:26 AM
Member since:
May 2011
Total posts:773
This has been an interesting discussion for me.

While I responded to the OP that I don't understand the reason for profanity in our everyday language and find it makes people look crude, I must admit I swear too when I've hurt myself (toe stub, cuts etc), when telling a colorful story and when I am at the end of my rope, frustrated with some situation. These words are emotional, reactive and get the point across. I have to admit they do feel good to help get express emotions. But I am also careful in where I use these words. I still find them crude. I won't use them in front of kids or in everyday language especially at work. They do not lend themselves to a professional image.  
 
What is also interesting is a previous post that said they would rather hear profanity than ignorant, lazy type words. I wonder why that is? I am proud of the English language. It is one of the most versatile languages out there IMO. It enables you to express yourself in numerous ways. I like using the english language to its fullest extent.  
 
For what ever reason people swear, it is embedded in our culture, no matter what language you speak. It will always be.

Simonwalcal

11/4/2018 8:38:56 AM
Member since:
Mar 2012
Total posts:473
. . .

I have no issue with using profanity in the presence of adults. It does bother the sensibilities of some, but I don't really care. It's words. Deal with it.  
 
Make whatever assessments of my education that you want, based on this metric. I don't care.  
 
Having said that, what flies in the company of close friends or familiar acquaintances is not necessarily what is acceptable in many public areas, particularly those with children. While keeping them from ever learning the 7 dirty words is futile, it does not have to be me to teach them .  
 
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