So I just ventured out for a leisurely walk on this lovely summer evening. To my disgust, I once again had the experience that is quickly becoming a daily nuisance for me. I had only been outside for about a minute before I was greeted with whistles of guys not-so-subtly checking me out. Sometimes it's whistles, sometimes it's "Hey, cutie!", sometimes it's broken english supplemented by exaggerated body language, but it always gets the same reaction from me- nervous, faster walking with my head down. I don't wear revealing clothes or anything else that might stand out on the street, so it doesn't seem possible that I am provoking them in any way.  
My questions are:  
 
For the guys:  
What is going on in the male psyche?? Do guys actually think that rude noises are going to get them somewhere?  
 
For the girls:  
Does this ever impress you?  
 

I thought that went out in the Dark ages??  
If its a construction site-- easy answer look for the name of the Prime contractor on signge etc. Not just one of the subcontractors trucks. Give them a quick call. Explain the problem--in most cases that will solve it. Those guys have someone who pays the bills. Maybe the boss will give ask them to get out of the 70 and 80's.

but that's just me. If they are sketchy doods then yeah it can make you feel kind of uncomfortable but that can be easily ignored. If a guy in general does it on the odd occasion it makes me grin a lil bit (then I wonder whether or not they are just intoxicated and hollerin at everyone!) Put it to ya this way....there are tons of women out there who would love to be in your shoes, those that don't even get so much a glance in their direction from the opposite sex..so my take on it is to enjoy the attention while ya still gots it!!  
 
Edited by Ferris, 2009-08-11 22:41:37

From what I've observed, there are a lot of immature guys that do that kind of thing thinking they'll impress or amuse their buddies. I'd bet it's very rare that a guy alone does that sort of thing. I hope you have a cell phone with you when you go out- if there is any serious sense of threat, try to get a license number. Usually these are just morons who think this kind of 'macho' a-holeism will get a rise out of their companions.

Are you actaully going to come on here and complain about this......?  
 
Just be happy it's "hey cutie" and not something else! I understand it can get degrating (like the ones who just stare so obviously at the chest/butt) but still I would rather be recieving the whistles or whatever... have you not heard some of the nasty things guys yell at women? If we must be yelled at, well, cutie is what I would rather hear!  
 
 
Yes some of them are total creepers.. But c'mon it must make you feel a little good? Not that you need to thrive off that kind of attention but it can be nice. I have had bad days where I'm all down on myself and hate to admit it, but, like ferris said... It gives me a little grin...NO It does not make my whole entire self esteem up, but it is a nice pick me up sometimes....  
 
AND Believe me if you are a "cutie", and this is sick, but you do get treated better day to day when you go out into the world. It is wrong, but thats the way it is....  
 
My mind is just blown... You are, from the sounds of it, blessed with good looks. There are plenty of women who would love to get a "compliment" when they go out.  
 
 
I'm sorry to hear that you don't dress overly sexy and this still happens.. I know, I know natural beauty can be such a pain eh... Oooo it's a tough life... Guess your just going to have to deal with what your mamma gave ya...  
 
 
 
Edited by {NicoleS}, 2009-08-11 23:03:57

Oddly enough, I don't recall this ever happening to me at a construction site. It just seems to be random guys on the street. Sometimes in groups, sometimes alone. A lot of the lone ones are really old... which baffles me even more. I'm clearly 25, and they're about 80!  
 
Do the guys still think it's impressive and macho when the object of their affections won't give them the time of day? Is that not considered a rejection (because it IS)?  
 
Nope, definately not the first time. It's happened many, many times over the years in Brandon, but it's particularly often lately. I'm thinking it's because I live and work downtown, and that's where it seems to happen to me the most. I think I had a short time when it made me think, "Wow. I'm hot!" But now it's enough already. I just want to walk in peace! And I'm always nervous that they're going to grab me or something.  
 
Another question for the ladies: Do you ever actually approach these guys and start something up? Does that EVER happen?  
 

Yeah, enjoy it while it lasts. I don't get anything anymore. I realize it gets pretty old quick, but you must be quite pretty to hear it so often.  
I find this boy behavior occurs more in the summer-I guess the hornies have nothing better to do than cruise around. Give it another month.  
I used to chat with some of the guys who whistled, but no further than that unless we knew them some how. You need to be careful and I wouldn't bother unless you had someone else with you.

I think I am totally going to disagree with the direction of this thread. It is not ok to be called names just because they are "good ones". It is not ok to have others constantly showing sexual body language to you.  
 
Yes it is nice sometimes, and definately will cheer you up when you haven't heard it for a while. But overall I think it is annoying (and rarely do I get these "calls"). Woman don't go whistling and cheering after guys all the time (well at least not alone lol), so why should guys do the same to women

How do us guys make it attractive then? I don't think theres a way to if you think of it as not cool.  
 
Edited by Hman33, 2009-08-12 07:29:22

Psych23 said "Oddly enough, I don't recall this ever happening to me at a construction site. It just seems to be random guys on the street. Sometimes in groups, sometimes alone. A lot of the lone ones are really old... which baffles me even more. I'm clearly 25, and they're about 80!     Do the guys still think it's impressive and macho when the object of their affections won't give them the time of day? Is that not considered a rejection (because it IS)?     Nope, definately not the first time. It's happened many, many times over the years in Brandon, but it's particularly often lately. I'm thinking it's because I live and work downtown, and that's where it seems to happen to me the most. I think I had a short time when it made me think, "Wow. I'm hot!" But now it's enough already. I just want to walk in peace! And I'm always nervous that they're going to grab me or something.     Another question for the ladies: Do you ever actually approach these guys and start something up? Does that EVER happen?     "

if its happening a lot, please post a foto of you and what your outfit was yesterday  
 
especially if a guy 'about 80' is wolfwhistling you  
 
hey, was he wearing a 3 wolf shirt? sometimes the wolf power is overwhelming

I generally tell guys off for whistling or whatever... It's an annoyance, my general responses are usually "f off" or giving them the finger over my shoulder. Yes, I know I have an attitude--but they get the hint.

AND Believe me if you are a "cutie", and this is sick, but you do get treated better day to day when you go out into the world. It is wrong, but thats the way it is....  
 
This statement is such crap...it is sick..you have a pretty black and white view of the world...and shouldn't stereotype as you do...how exactly do cuties get treated better...?

Sorry.  

I'm not sure what these people are on when they say, "you are lucky", "you will wish for it in 10 years". How terribly narrow minded to think that being yelled at like a common dog is okay. If people are that hard up for compliments, there is definitely something wrong.  
 
I have had my share of whistles, shout outs, but I have enough common sense and pride in myself to stop and ask is that how your mother would want you to act? Do you think you are being respectful to me? Would you like if someone treated a female member of your family (your wife, daughter, mother) like that? They often feel ashamed and apologize, as well they should.  
 
That behaviour went out with the dinosaurs and if anyone things that is cool is obviously starved for the wrong attention!!

Different cultures.In Mexico its considered a compliment.

Marni said "I honestly dont think that I have ever read anything so shallow in all my life.. "

I really don't see anything shallow about her post.  
 
It appears as though such things don't bother Nicole, and she maybe doesn't see why someone would be bothered by such things. It's only an opinion.  
 
As for the shallow part of your comments...  
 
" and what will you do when you are old and your looks fade and you have no intelligence to hold a conversation?"  
 
I'm sure the posts that follow will be more interesting than what I would say.  
 
 
Edited by DV, 2009-08-12 11:46:17

Hmmm, well - welcome to Canada!!

fleurdelily said "AND Believe me if you are a "cutie", and this is sick, but you do get treated better day to day when you go out into the world. It is wrong, but thats the way it is....     This statement is such crap...it is sick..you have a pretty black and white view of the world...and shouldn't stereotype as you do...how exactly do cuties get treated better...? "

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3917414  
 
There were and are better studies done then that.. It's just what I found quik  
 
Like how people trust good looking people more. Are more willing to help. I even watched a program on TV once about how good looking children get treated better!!!!  
 
Ya thats life... Women do not treat more attractive women better thats all.. It's dirty looks and such.. But overall, yes life is easier.  
 
I had an ugly phase... lol.. I tell you when I "changed" Things seemed easier.. Getting jobs was easier, service is better.. If I need something done guys will jump on it... I have had men (guy friends) just give me money if they know I'm broke. We recently had work done in our basement.. One women around here complained the guys didn't clean up. I can tell you my basement was spotless they even picked up some of MY stuff and placed in neatly on the dryer.. lol. When I cleaned rooms and had to clean sometimes while the guys were in them they would help me.. lol. When my car broke down on vic it only took about 3 mins before 2 young men came and pushed me opver to the side and asked if I needed help... there are 100's more incidents like this... I didn't want to sound like I'm bragging, thats why I left any examples out of it.. I'm not big headed nor do I think i'm better then anyone, and I'm sure lots of similar things happen to average women to... There are studies on this and I notice it LOTS thats all.....  
 
I beleieve there was even a thread on here a while back about how people trust "attractive" people more. There is actaully someone else on here who said they learned this in one of their classes... So there ya go!  
 
I'm sorry If it's all black and white  
 
I just didn't think she should complain to much when attractive people have many unfair advantages.... Then there are people who come on here crushed about some of the terrible names they get called, and that I think is terrible when these people are suffering and hurt... Just irked me a bit!  
 
Yes it's sickining someimtes there are many perks as well...

people complain about everything. I couldn't imagine giving some guy the finger for whistling at me and then complaining HE is the rude one.  
 
Sheesh. If you aren't flattered, ignore it - what is the big deal?

This thread could be on the verge of a blowup. Just a friendly reminder that as things proceed, please try your best to keep disagreement with another person's opinion respectable (ie argue the point they've made as opposed to attacking the individual making the statement personally). thx in advance.

Indeed, it is nice to have someone with me. When I walk with a guy, this never happens. The one nice thing about winter is that it chases the hooligans off the streets.  
Hman33: The thing to do is approach the woman in a civilized manner and start a conversation. ie- "Hi. My name is ___." That is the only approach that has ever impressed me, anyway.  
Robertthebruce: no photo necessary, I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. That's what I normally wear, since I work in an office without a dress code. I'm tempted to experiment by wearing formal office clothes for a week or 2 and see if it makes any difference.  
Wow! Bravo to the ladies who tell them off! However, I'm nervous to acknowledge them at all, and I don't believe that I should have to take time out of my day to tell them something they should already know.  
Apparently I missed a few offensive posts, however if the person who had the nerve to insult someone's intelligence has not already been banned from the site: FYI- in my formal education in psychology, I learned that intelligence does not fade across a lifespan. Look it up.  
 
Edited by Psych23, 2009-08-12 13:52:34

i cant beleive this...  
 
if i see or notice a good looking lady i usually tell her shes good looking.. or smoking hot depending on the lady of course...  
 
i assume some would see this as a greeting, kinda like hello but more of a compliment... other might be offended if i am telling them they are good looking.. sometimes telling the truth can get you into trouble..  
 
 
 

tha dude said "i cant beleive this...     if i see or notice a good looking lady i usually tell her shes good looking.. or smoking hot depending on the lady of course...     i assume some would see this as a greeting, kinda like hello but more of a compliment... other might be offended if i am telling them they are good looking.. sometimes telling the truth can get you into trouble..         "

ie-without whistles, horn-honking, etc?

I could care less. I would just ignore it.  
 
But for the people who think it is cool or great they are getting whistled at, does this help your self esteem? Is this something you would thrive on, going and telling your friends how many whistles you got that day? I don't really understand how some stranger whooting and whistling could make me feel good. You should already feel good about yourself without needing a bunch of men yelling at you. Makes me feel like we are going back in time.

Brenda said "I could care less. I would just ignore it.     But for the people who think it is cool or great they are getting whistled at, does this help your self esteem? Is this something you would thrive on, going and telling your friends how many whistles you got that day? I don't really understand how some stranger whooting and whistling could make me feel good. You should already feel good about yourself without needing a bunch of men yelling at you. Makes me feel like we are going back in time. "

Good point.  
 
I don't think it is cool or something I would get all excited about, I just don't think it is so horrible I need to complain about it (which to me is kind of a reverse type of bragging) - it's all about attention.

I think it is womens summer and winter clothing that make the difference...  
 
If women were walking around in the winter in their "summer attire" I think the "hollagns" would still roll down the car window to give a shout lol.  
 
 
Your Dress clothes.... I have a friend who wears dress clothes to work or formal whatever word it was you used... I gotta say I always think she looks great and I'm tempted to whistle at her..  
 
And as for jeans and a t-shirt (if you have a good figure) are just as flattering as a mini skirt and tank top I think. It is great when a women can dress casual and still look good!  
 
I don't think the finger or saying "$%$@ off" is necessary, What I normally do is just keep walking and don't look over... sometimes in the past if the guy was "cute" lol I might give a mischivous little grin back and flirt a bit... I feel attached to someone now and would not do that as it would be disrespecful... But I find it all in good fun if I'm single.  
 
Shallow as it may be.. It can be fun, or something to just laugh at.. About how silly men can be, It can be torcher if you let it be... It's what you make of it. It's not going to change until you are aged and your youth and good looks are gone.. Men won't change either...  
 
For years women and girls have been thriving off this kind of attention and I think in a way encouraged men to act like this... Why else do so many chicks go walking down busy streets in the smallest outfit they can find? I don't think men are fully to blame here.. I think there are lots of women who enjoy this and the guys know it to!!! I think it is more of a silly game, I think the guys know nothing will come of it and more often then not the girls get a kick out of it as well....

Psych23 said "    tha dude said "i cant beleive this...     if i see or notice a good looking lady i usually tell her shes good looking.. or smoking hot depending on the lady of course...     i assume some would see this as a greeting, kinda like hello but more of a compliment... other might be offended if i am telling them they are good looking.. sometimes telling the truth can get you into trouble..         " ie-without whistles, horn-honking, etc? "

i cant see anyone getting upset after being approached and being told they are good looking or smoking hot.. i'm not trying to pick them up (they would know if i was)just making a general comment to them, i would think it would make their day or even their week... drooling and oogling may make the younger gals feel good but at my age just speaking up works..  
 
life is too short to hold back, now if i thought a lady was hideous i wouldnt say anything, cause thats the polite thing to do..  
 
in my younger years i always used to use the line "you must be around 23" cause if they are younger then its a maturity compliment if they are older its compliment of how young they appear.. it was a win-win kinda statement..  
 
anyways with what the girls are wearing around now those tiny tank tops, short shorts.. (i was at countryfest - i enjoyed the scenery) i can see how the cat calls, honking, whistling etc could start...  

A person reacts on the outside... according to what's going on in the inside.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Edited by Sandy, 2009-08-12 16:27:12

this happen not only to women but in the total reverse as well....BUT I have never heard of a man saying that this had bothered them? And yes, I have seen some men not only succeed in getting the woman's attention, but even have the opportunity to get a phone number or even a name (whether they were real phone numbers or names...the men will never tell of course LOL!)  
 
If you ever felt threatened by it....I could understand....but if not, just ignore it....whether some think that has gone away in the "dark ages" or whatever...I would have to disagree...

I have never seen how cat calls and the like would be considered attractive by women. I suppose that there might be some who would look upon it favourably, but they are generally few and far between.  
 
Only women who have extremely high self-esteem would be likely to respond to such treatment with anything other than embarassment, in my opinion. Their response would likely either be humourous or extremely cutting, not exactly the response one would be hoping for, I assume.  
 
As an aside, I have had young ladies give me wolf whistles in public. I found it incredibly embarrassing, and cannot imagine that they meant it in a flattering way....