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Topic: Family members scared of pet
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16K

12/23/2011 3:22:34 PM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:372
Family members scared of pet

Alright. So I want to hear what the ebrandon peeps would do in this situation.  
 
Say you have family members that are scared of your pet. Dog, cat, ferret, etc. Would you lock the pet up when the person came over to visit? Or say no I'm not locking my pet up because your scared of them.  
 
Personally I don't think I should have to lock up my family pet who is like a child to me because a family member or a friend is scared of them. I understand people have fears and you should respect them, but they should also respect that I'm not going to lock up my pet for for the sake of them coming over. Like i said my family pet IS a family member. I don't like your husband are you going to lock him up? No i don't think so. (LOL last part)  
Anyways. I want to hear what ebrandon peeps think. No rude comments. Speak your mind but do it in a nice way please  

Edited by admin, 2011-12-23 15:30:52. Reason: Change of title to be more specific of topic

 
 
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Decker

12/23/2011 3:31:28 PM
Member since:
Apr 2010
Total posts:364
For special ocassions move the pet.

I understand how you feel about your pet but there is also some common courtesy for your guests. If it is a regular visitor (daily or every couple of days) I might work on them and the pet to get used to each other. For a special ocassion your pet can be caged or put in a seperate room etc. It is respectful for your guest. I will be putting my cat outside (he loves that as long as it isn't seriusly cold) and /or in the garage while my Christmas guests come for supper. Yuk...but I will also make up a small smoking area in my garage with a heater and maybe a spare strip of carpet for my smoker guests. I can air it out easily later. Compromising can be helpful in keeping relationships happy.

16K

12/23/2011 3:45:26 PM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:372
true

but what if i don't care about the relationship. or the pet is more important. then what? Sorry for being blunt, but its my house and my pet lives here. the person doesn't. Why should I put the pet away? I understand what your saying. But to me it still doesn't make sense. I'm terrified of snakes and if a person said "i'm not putting my snake away just because your scared" I wouldn't be offended. I'd just say lets go out. I guess each to their own right?

weatherman harry potter

12/23/2011 3:46:37 PM
Member since:
Jun 2010
Total posts:1175
seriously?

a fear of an animal is different than a dislike. A fear of an animal is a very real thing and not something they can just "get over" while they are at your house. As much as you love your pet, they are just that, a pet. If you want to continue any kind of relationship with this person I think your pet can handle a night or two locked up in another room. With a child who has a serious fear of a certain pet I can't stand attitudes like this that figure they should just deal with it. If it were that easy it wouldn't be a fear. The way for a person to get over the fear of an animal is not to make them face it directly and immediately, but to let them face it on their own terms in their own time. I think your going to have to decide which is more important. spending time with this person or having your pet out. It doesn't sound like they are not respecting your desire to have your pet with you, but that you're disrespecting their fear of your pet.

ScarletAngel

12/23/2011 3:55:32 PM
Member since:
Mar 2009
Total posts:1058
you should

Try to see it from their point of view. Is your pet doing anything that may be threatening, or dominating? Or just being annoying by getting hair all over them or being loud?  
 
Animals that get pushy or in your face can make some people really nervous. The animal senses that and singles them out...

Tamika 01

12/23/2011 3:57:04 PM
Member since:
Aug 2010
Total posts:505
To me there is a difference

in what kind of pet you have.  
I have a cat and I don't think I would lock him up.  
 
What kind of pet do you have. If its a snake I would be scared but as long as it did not slither all over me. lol I might be ok  
My family has large dogs. I do feel a little scared of them but I have never asked them to lock them up. Its my problem to deal with. So I do.

weatherman harry potter

12/23/2011 4:01:40 PM
Member since:
Jun 2010
Total posts:1175
doesn't matter

  
Tamika 01 said "in what kind of pet you have.  
I have a cat and I don't think I would lock him up.  
 
What kind of pet do you have. If its a snake I would be scared but as long as it did not slither all over me. lol I might be ok  
My family has large dogs. I do feel a little scared of them but I have never asked them to lock them up. Its my problem to deal with. So I do. "

People can have fears of all kinds of pets, including cats. Doesn't make their fear less real than a fear of snakes. Its rude and disrespectful to that person to assume they can just deal with it. Perhaps if a pet is more important than that human relationship you should just cut ties with them.

Tamara79

12/23/2011 4:02:25 PM
Member since:
Apr 2007
Total posts:1735
Is it a legitimate fear?

Is my question. Some people arent honest with themselves about their pets, eg.I have a friend who does not believe you when you tell her her dogs nip at her guests ankles and heels, doesnt matter how many people tell her. So we just dont go over there and then she wonders why no one visits her. Same goes for cats, there are some cats that scratch, or pounce on feet, while it may not be a big deal to you, but some ppl dont like to be scratched. However if this is just a case of someone disliking your pet (my family hates indoor cats) then I side with you in that, they should just deal with it. Allergies should be taken into consideration though.

Decker

12/23/2011 4:03:54 PM
Member since:
Apr 2010
Total posts:364
Guest stress ??

Sounds to me that you are getting that pre Christmas stressed out feeling. I am guessing that you really don't want this particular guest in your house and you are setting up roadblocks. Maybe this guest or request got dumped on you rather suddenly. When you are the hostess - like it or lump it - not so wanted guests come with the territory. Hopefully it will only be for a short time. Don't blow this out of proportion. They aren't moving in they are visiting guests. Ask yourself why are you so upset over this anyway?

Nicole.S

12/23/2011 4:16:09 PM
Member since:
Jun 2008
Total posts:3423
!!

I don't think I would feel right about locking my pets up for anyone either. My babies would stay out.

Annetta

12/23/2011 4:33:50 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Total posts:989
--

Honestly, if I didn't care if the person came over or not, I'd leave the pet out. If someone has something in their house that I don't like or am afraid of, it doesn't bother me in the least. If someone I don't especially like is scared of something in my house and chooses to stay away because of it, that's okay too. And if a guest in my house were to smack or kick one of my pets? Bye bye guest--he/she would be told to leave in no uncertain terms. Someone else will not have to discipline any of my animals for any reason because if one of the animals needs disciplining...I will do it myself.  
 
If the guest were someone that I cared about and wanted to spend time with then I would shut the pet in a bedroom to keep the guest happy. Not really an issue here because my dog is an outdoor dog and the cats that are in the house do not like strangers--company comes in the house, cats are GONE, hiding somewhere. So, it's no hardship for them to be shut in the bedroom where they cannot be upset by the guests.

~Tammy~

12/23/2011 4:38:13 PM
Member since:
Dec 2005
Total posts:3378
/.,

Well.. Fear is very real. I have in fact locked my dog out in the garage or in the bedroom when we have had company over, out of respect for them. They DONT come to visit my pets they come to visit me  
 
I have also been on the recieving end of this just recently. I was invited over to a friends house and asked to bring the baby. When I got there their dog proceeded to jump all over the baby scaring her. I yelled at the dog to get down, and then was told that I shouldnt have brought the baby over :S ... K well I was ASKED to bring her over!  
 
Needless to say we are no longer friends.  
 
 
Its not much to ask to respect your company for a couple hours. Your pet far more content crashing out on your bed then he would be getting shoo'd away every 10 seconds because he wants to visit the new person.

RickR

12/23/2011 4:45:42 PM
Member since:
Mar 2008
Total posts:518
We have

and would place our critters in an area away from the guests. It sounds like this is a short term thing. Family is always there and should come first. Now in the case where that member just plain doesn't like dogs cats or whatever then to me, that is their problem. But to truly fear is a whole different ballgame.

DontBeSilly

12/23/2011 4:53:53 PM
Member since:
Nov 2011
Total posts:971
I would

never lock up my dog because someone else doesn't like her.

JR

12/23/2011 4:54:06 PM
Member since:
Nov 2007
Total posts:1473
What kind?

I'd really like to know what kind of pet this is. Also, is the person's fear one of your pet in particular or of all animals of the same type. Those points would make a difference if it was me.  
 
I have no issue with locking my 2 cats in a room for one evening if someone is afraid of them or cats in general. The cats wouldn't really care as all they would do is sleep anyway!  
 
As for my dog, he would get quite restless if kept alone in his kennel and he heard people in the house. This is where I would want to know if the fear is of my pet or of dogs in general. If it is my dog, I'd really feel guilty and would want to try to get the guest to accept my dog, who is really very friendly. If the fear is of dogs in general and it is real, then, for the sake of my guest, my dog could spend an evening in his kennel (crate) with frequent visits from family members.  
 
Please let us know a few more details about your situation....  

notme

12/23/2011 5:05:23 PM
Member since:
Jul 2011
Total posts:636
If its

a real fear, then yes I would put them in a different room. If its just a dislike then too bad.  
 
I am deathly afraid of birds. I had one friend who refused to put her bird in its cage when I visited and everytime I was there the darned thing spent the whole time dive bombing me (which only added to the fear). I stopped going to her house and when asked I bluntly told her why. This is a real fear, after having been pecked when I was a small child by a sparrow in a car port (sparrows are the worst!) and this 'friend' didn't really give a darn that her bird was bombing me. She actually thought it was funny!  
 
So, be aware of your guest likes, dislikes and fears, and try as much as possible to accommodate the fears.

The Brilliant Captain Obvious

12/23/2011 5:16:32 PM
Member since:
Jul 2009
Total posts:2024
disrespectful.

Common courtesy shouldn't be reserved for only those you like, and showing a lack of it speaks more about you than the person it's directed at.  
We have a dog, who is very much part of our family, she travels with us and is with us pretty much all of the time. However, if we have someone over to our house who is afraid of her, I will without a doubt put her in one of the bedrooms. Not only is it disrespectful to your guest (I assume that since they're at your house some type of invitation was issued, they don't just show up at the door?) But think of the effect on your dog as well. Dogs are very sensitive to people's feelings. I know that if there is someone in the room with my dog who is afraid of her, she begins to feel stress as well. I make her up a spot on the bed, give her some treats and water and she's quite content.  
You can say that its the dog who you're doing this for, but realistically I'm sure most here realize that it is to appease your own feelings, rather that you feel put out or bad for putting them in a room.  
Perhaps the person you're speaking of would be more likable to you if you didn't treat them with such dislike.

16K

12/23/2011 5:51:11 PM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:372
.

i hear what you are all saying. thank you for speaking your mind, and not totally freaking out on me. To me my pets come first. (I don't have kids right now). and my cat comes first. I locked him up a few times...but hated it. Not fair to him. He doesn't understand what he did wrong. If people don't like cats, they can just stay away from my house then Not my problem you hate them or just are scared of them.

Happy Trails

12/23/2011 5:52:03 PM
Member since:
Feb 2011
Total posts:818
Our

pets don't get locked up for anyone in our family - if they don't like it feel free not to come over simple as that. My pet lives here you don't it is their HOME.  
 
On the other hand though - for my daughter's birthday party the dog hung out in the garage because she's too hyper to be around a bunch of little kids without the possibility of accidently hurting or scaring one (jumping up or barking at them etc.)  
 
But kids are different than adults and guests are different than family. If it's an adult they know your pet is there they can take your home as is or not visit simple as that!

m_j

12/23/2011 6:09:55 PM
Member since:
Oct 2011
Total posts:217
.

As long as your pet behaves and doesn't do anything to actually harm your company, don't lock it up. If the pet isn't harming anyone, it shouldn't be a problem. If your pet does, however, act up when company is around, put it in a separate room or outside for an hour or two.

Tamika 01

12/23/2011 6:27:22 PM
Member since:
Aug 2010
Total posts:505
Perhaps true but....

  
weatherman harry potter said "
  
Tamika 01 said "in what kind of pet you have.  
I have a cat and I don't think I would lock him up.  
 
What kind of pet do you have. If its a snake I would be scared but as long as it did not slither all over me. lol I might be ok  
My family has large dogs. I do feel a little scared of them but I have never asked them to lock them up. Its my problem to deal with. So I do. "

People can have fears of all kinds of pets, including cats. Doesn't make their fear less real than a fear of snakes. Its rude and disrespectful to that person to assume they can just deal with it. Perhaps if a pet is more important than that human relationship you should just cut ties with them. "

Some peoples animals are that important to them. Wanting them to lock them up is like asking them to lock up their children. And don't even get me started on the fact the some people do like their animals more than people. That I really do understand. So again I would not lock up my cat and if I was that afeared of someone elses animals. I would ask them to come to my house instead.

The Brilliant Captain Obvious

12/23/2011 6:39:08 PM
Member since:
Jul 2009
Total posts:2024
again

Your pet isn't going to feel like it "did something wrong" by being locked in a room. You're emoting your own feelings onto them, they may not enjoy being out of the room, but by all means its not like they have the reasoning skill and emotional maturity of a human that they'd come to that conclusion.  
As much as you like to treat your pet like people, they just are not, nor do they have the same cognitive/emotional abilities.

Rescue Angel

12/23/2011 7:11:45 PM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:106
Would never

I get that people have fears. But my pets are my family. I would never lock up my pets for anyone. If you really want to be around me, we can go else where or you can start working on your fear.

weatherman harry potter

12/23/2011 7:14:24 PM
Member since:
Jun 2010
Total posts:1175
.......

I don't think the people who are saying deal with it, really get how a fear works. Its not as simple as learn to deal with it. But I guess if you don't care for them nor want to be a good friend then that's your prerogative..

m_j

12/23/2011 9:17:00 PM
Member since:
Oct 2011
Total posts:217
.

  
The Brilliant Captain Obvious said "Your pet isn't going to feel like it "did something wrong" by being locked in a room. You're emoting your own feelings onto them, they may not enjoy being out of the room, but by all means its not like they have the reasoning skill and emotional maturity of a human that they'd come to that conclusion.  
As much as you like to treat your pet like people, they just are not, nor do they have the same cognitive/emotional abilities. "

No, pets don't have the exact same cognitive and emotional abilities as humans. However, you are greatly underestimating them. Many animals who aren't usually locked up will have extreme anxiety if you do this to them. Ever heard of people who own dogs and go away on vacation only to come back to their garage torn apart? Also, how do you think animals are trained? Classical conditioning, the same as children.

~Tammy~

12/23/2011 9:21:05 PM
Member since:
Dec 2005
Total posts:3378
...

  
m_j said "
  
The Brilliant Captain Obvious said "Your pet isn't going to feel like it "did something wrong" by being locked in a room. You're emoting your own feelings onto them, they may not enjoy being out of the room, but by all means its not like they have the reasoning skill and emotional maturity of a human that they'd come to that conclusion.  
As much as you like to treat your pet like people, they just are not, nor do they have the same cognitive/emotional abilities. "

No, pets don't have the exact same cognitive and emotional abilities as humans. However, you are greatly underestimating them. Many animals who aren't usually locked up will have extreme anxiety if you do this to them. Ever heard of people who own dogs and go away on vacation only to come back to their garage torn apart? Also, how do you think animals are trained? Classical conditioning, the same as children. "

There is a marked difference between leaving for vacation and putting them in a bedroom for a few hours.  
 
Our dogs would love it if we put them in the bedroom with the door closed lol Do you know how long it would take before they were both sprawled out on my bed chillin and thinking yea yea  
 
They arent allowed on the bed any other time, but I can guarantee you, If put in the bedroom by themselves they would be enjoying the queen size pillowtop way better then they do the floor

na

12/23/2011 9:32:03 PM
Member since:
Mar 2009
Total posts:531
It's pretty simple really

If you've invited someone over, because they're your guest, you should lock the pets away. (YOU respecting THEM)  
 
If someone does the POP-IN, the person can't EXPECT you to lock your animal away just because they've shown up unexpectedly. (THEM respecting YOU)  
 
Edited by RonS, 2011-12-23 21:43:22

TEN

12/23/2011 9:51:22 PM
Member since:
Jul 2006
Total posts:1808
Isn't

that how "old cat ladies" start out? You won't accomodate people so soon they stop coming over and you are left with nothing but your cats. (Not saying thats all bad, but hey)

Doug

12/23/2011 9:56:27 PM
Member since:
Mar 2005
Total posts:6432
pet

We have a dog that is the friendliest of the friendly to its people. The King of Toy dogs they say. In many ways its cool how protective it is to her people. It took myself at least a couple of months for it to stop hating after we picked her up. Even now out of all family members she barks at me when I wear a wear a weird colour shirt.  
 
Up to this day( she is 9) I would not trust her with anyone. She,like women in general( Joke) has some meaness and I want to kill youness inside of her with certain people. There is no rhyme nor reason to her thought process. Your either good people or get the hell of her ZONE.  
 
If this was extended family I would not worry. If its immediate and the family member lives in the house I would have turfed that dog month one.  
 
Now its just controlled mayhem. Whether its the postman/pizza person or a friend that pops over. The dog either gets watched extra close or locked up.  
 
Part of our love for the Dog is to make sure she does not get into trouble. In a related note Cattle prods and Stun guns should be available in pet shops..

Tdawg

12/23/2011 10:14:43 PM
Member since:
Sep 2009
Total posts:134
Why invite them?

Its interesting, why would you invite someone over if your pet has a higher priority over your family member? This is really what it comes down too, your pet has the same rights as a human in your eyes, even though they are not human. I find it strange that people will put pet lives and needs above human lives and needs. Pets are great companions and there is a great exchange of affection and love between Owner and pet, but they are not the equivalent of humans. Here is an extreme question. You can save 1 life, the pet or your relative that is coming to visit, which would you choose? People are probably going to freak that I even asked the question, but I asked it to show where we put our priorities and that some people will value the life of a pet more than the life of a human. I say if you are going to treat your dog like a human, why not sit them at the table to eat with you? Maybe they could have a little wine with dinner if they are of age (aprox 2.5 dog years). My advice is this, if you treat your pet like a child, its time to have children. Have your own or adopt, it's clear that you have a desire that needs to be fulfilled, its a God given desire, its natural, so go for it.

 
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