I'm in the gym the other day and a lady is working out in her Lululemon outfit. Apparently she became offended and left the gym because someone was staring at her. Now I understand this can be uncomfortable and some guys enter the creep zone. But there are lots of types of clothes to wear that aren't skin tight or show cleavage. My question is what is a womans responsibility for the clothing choices she makes when it comes to revealing attire?

If its revealing more than you want to see, a "gentleman" looks away.

It's not just men, women can be quiet the little creeps as well, you have to remember though, some people blow things out of proportion and make a big deal of things. "Staring" could have just been a glance or two or he was full on drooling.  
 
With that, if you were some tight and revealing and you don't like people staring or glancing? Wear something else but either way people are going to look, it happens. You could be covered head to toe and people would still look, it's what people do.  
 
But if you do wear very revealing clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination? I'm sorry in advance for how offended you may get but I'm with the men on that one. Yes, your face is up there but when your boobs are hanging out on full display? I'm not looking at your face either.

I always smile a bit when I read these type of posts. I mean, come on....if a person goes somewhere, in this case the gym, and is wearing skin tight workout wear, then obviously that person knows that he/she will get more than just casual glances. Doesn't matter if it's a guy wearing skin tight workout shorts that fully highlights his "package" or if it's a woman wearing tight spandex shorts and a low cut tanktop. And let's just be honest here people, if we go to the gym wearing this, we obviously want people to check us out....nothing wrong with that. If we didn't want people to look at us then we would wear baggy gym pants and a teashirt that was 2 sizes too big, am I right? As humans we are constantly checking one another out....we can't help it. As long as that's all we do, who cares? Let's not pretend we don't expect it.

i do think a person bears some responsibility for how they dress, but others should show some class even when the type of dress doesn't require the observer to use there imagination, possibly though it wasn't the staring she was offended by but who was doing the staring, its funny how lots of people become offended when they attract attention from people they don't find desirable but even if the observer is less than perfect doesn't mean they don't admire a perfect body

bigpoppa100 said "I'm in the gym the other day and a lady is working out in her Lululemon outfit. Apparently she became offended and left the gym because someone was staring at her. Now I understand this can be uncomfortable and some guys enter the creep zone. But there are lots of types of clothes to wear that aren't skin tight or show cleavage. My question is what is a womans responsibility for the clothing choices she makes when it comes to revealing attire? "

There is none. Zip/nada zero. Just ask anyone that was part of that slutwalk. Yes I know some could argue it is not the same issue but I say yes it is ( sadly )  
 
Some people simply forget that there is a reason we have two sexes and no matter how we want to equalize things mother nature will always win out. Yes before someone gets on here to call me a sexist pig. Oink!  
 
Edited by Doug, 2012-06-11 07:36:39

A person is completely responsible for how they dress. They chose their clothing right? You wake up and choose tight fitting, low cut shirts, you will have clevage, men and women alike will look, some in appreciation, some not.  
 
Now, you dress like that and go out, who ever you happen to see in your travels is who you see, whether you want them to look or not its natural to look at other people and for other people to look at you. If you dress like you want to be looked at, then you probably want to be looked at. That is something you don't get to "choose". So you will come along some creepers and what else would you expect in a co-ed gym?  
 
My thinking on this is that a woman dresses like that, to get attention from the opposite sex, but if she doesn't find herself attracted to the man that is looking at her stuff she has on display they are automatically deemed a "creep". The next man that she would be attracted to she might even strut her stuff a little more.

is this for real? was the gal actually being "stared at"? i went to the gym a while back and had to listen to a woman go on and on about being 'stared at'. she wasn't getting any looks - trust me! i think that some think that they look really good and want to be the centre of attention, but when they don't get the attention they want, the crap starts.

slurpeegirl said "is this for real? was the gal actually being "stared at"? i went to the gym a while back and had to listen to a woman go on and on about being 'stared at'. she wasn't getting any looks - trust me! i think that some think that they look really good and want to be the centre of attention, but when they don't get the attention they want, the crap starts. "

She was self conscious? Paranoid? Or maybe she was being stared at and you were too busy being annoyed by her to notice?

First off: lululemon is clothing designed specifically for yoga and running and is contoured especially to ensure maximum flexibility. at the gym its pretty common to see a lot of it and I'll be the first to tell you I wish I never had to wear anything but my lulu crops for life. I do however choose to wear a longer shirt over it because very bluntly, I don't need strangers giving me a visual cervical exam when I'm in line at the grocery store.  
 
onto the question of whether we have a responsibility in the way we dress I say yes. Just because the whole world has decided that women are objects of sexuality doesn't mean that modesty is out of style. Let's give men a reason to look at more than our breasts.  
 
If you choose to dress in a manner that draws the eye to your um...assets, then don't pretend to have issues with staring.  
 
Having said that I think if you can confidently rock the fitness magazine look, its probably because you want people to see the hard work you've put in.

ofthebigbang said "    slurpeegirl said "is this for real? was the gal actually being "stared at"? i went to the gym a while back and had to listen to a woman go on and on about being 'stared at'. she wasn't getting any looks - trust me! i think that some think that they look really good and want to be the centre of attention, but when they don't get the attention they want, the crap starts. " She was self conscious? Paranoid? Or maybe she was being stared at and you were too busy being annoyed by her to notice? "

would be dressed in a way that wouldn't get looks. if you don't want anyone to notice you, there are ways to make it happen.

Personally I could care less what others wear to the gym. One might think others are staring however many are so focused on what they are doing and their "stare" actually goes right though that person.....slap on a big t-shirt or join an all women's or men's gym.

I personally wear lulu lemon to the gym, and others might consider it to be revealing, or tight... (My shorts aren't skin tight but they are short, and my tank top fits tightly and I guess shows a little cleavage as it's not a turtle neck) but I wear these clothes for comfort. Even wearing long pants to the gym I get super hot, and I hate running in baggy clothes. It's just not comfortable to me. So yes, while I don't really care if someone looks, I mean, we all have eyes, when a man (or woman for that matter) is leering at you, constantly staring that's uncomfortable and uncalled for. I don't think any clothes someone wears calls for that.

This gets me every time: girls who go for a jog in what appears to be their panties, or shorts that are so short I can literally see the bottom of their bum cheeks.. if you're going to scream for attention at least do it with a bit of "class".... and then they look at you like a creep for looking, we jeez I'm not the creep running around in my panties.  
 
I'm sure the same goes for the gym..

bigpoppa100 said "I'm in the gym the other day and a lady is working out in her Lululemon outfit. Apparently she became offended and left the gym because someone was staring at her. Now I understand this can be uncomfortable and some guys enter the creep zone. But there are lots of types of clothes to wear that aren't skin tight or show cleavage. My question is what is a womans responsibility for the clothing choices she makes when it comes to revealing attire? "

I don't get it. Are you suggesting that, because she chose to wear what she did, she should have felt obliged to stay in an uncomfortable situation?  
 
This isn't the 1950s. If a woman chooses to wear something tight in public, and a man stares at her the same way he stares at the swimsuit models adorning the beer calendar he keeps in his bedroom for those special private moments, the man is unequivocally the one lacking social grace.

Maggie May said "   I am a woman and I find it difficult not to stare sometimes, so I can only imagine how distracting revealing clothing can be for a man.   We're all free to wear what we want, however, if you are offended easily or don't want to attract attention to yourself, you should consider your attire carefully. Its' human nature to look, men especially are visual creatures.   I have to wonder if she would have attracted the same attention in a baggy t shirt and sweats? maybe, maybe not... "

HI5!

kärlek said "This gets me every time: girls who go for a jog in what appears to be their panties, or shorts that are so short I can literally see the bottom of their bum cheeks.. if you're going to scream for attention at least do it with a bit of "class".... and then they look at you like a creep for looking, we jeez I'm not the creep running around in my panties.     I'm sure the same goes for the gym.. "

Agreed.  
 
In my many years of being a girl then a woman I constantly have had ftiends or acquaintinces who fit the bill. Butt showing, boobs showing then bloody murder if a guy (other than their crush) even glances.

acidbasement said "    bigpoppa100 said "I'm in the gym the other day and a lady is working out in her Lululemon outfit. Apparently she became offended and left the gym because someone was staring at her. Now I understand this can be uncomfortable and some guys enter the creep zone. But there are lots of types of clothes to wear that aren't skin tight or show cleavage. My question is what is a womans responsibility for the clothing choices she makes when it comes to revealing attire? " I don't get it. Are you suggesting that, because she chose to wear what she did, she should have felt obliged to stay in an uncomfortable situation?     This isn't the 1950s. If a woman chooses to wear something tight in public, and a man stares at her the same way he stares at the swimsuit models adorning the beer calendar he keeps in his bedroom for those special private moments, the man is unequivocally the one lacking social grace. "

Should she have been forced to stick around?? No of course not.  
 
Should she have expected the attention she got?? Most definitely.  
 
I'm going to go a step further and guess the only reason she was offended was because she was getting attention from someone she deemed undesirable.

If a man looks at a woman who is dressed provocatively....and the women doesnt find him '''attractive''...then he is a ''creep''...if the man looking at her is ''attractive'' himself...then he gets even a little ''extra''show...its called nature....women will show off to the ''studs''...not so much for the regular guys...

I think all the men in the gym should wear Speedos - just to "fit the work out image"....lol  
 
I remember back in the 70's we all started wearing Jane Fonda look alike gear, and wore head bands to workout like Olivia Newton John did. That was the norm for work out gear. It seemed the women started this work out action first, then the men got on board - so the staring, flirting started up at the gym - I remember modelling work out gear in the 80's and it was all about sexy, showing feminine curves - so why are women now thinking men wont be staring? Didn't body builders wear Speedos in the early years? Come on men, let the gals see your junk too - and stuff a sock in it if you need -  
 
If you want to be seen as "matronly" dress "Matronly"........... of course you have responsibility of how you dress, and how others perceive you!  
 
And OP - perhaps with this extension going on at the Y - they will have a Womans only area - and maybe us gals can enjoy the "hot tub" like you nude men do in your locker room............lol  
 
Clearly there is a double standard, on soo many levels .....................  
 
Edited by amethyst.d, 2012-06-11 12:37:29

Trevor said "    acidbasement said "    bigpoppa100 said "I'm in the gym the other day and a lady is working out in her Lululemon outfit. Apparently she became offended and left the gym because someone was staring at her. Now I understand this can be uncomfortable and some guys enter the creep zone. But there are lots of types of clothes to wear that aren't skin tight or show cleavage. My question is what is a womans responsibility for the clothing choices she makes when it comes to revealing attire? " I don't get it. Are you suggesting that, because she chose to wear what she did, she should have felt obliged to stay in an uncomfortable situation?     This isn't the 1950s. If a woman chooses to wear something tight in public, and a man stares at her the same way he stares at the swimsuit models adorning the beer calendar he keeps in his bedroom for those special private moments, the man is unequivocally the one lacking social grace. " Should she have been forced to stick around?? No of course not.     Should she have expected the attention she got?? Most definitely.     I'm going to go a step further and guess the only reason she was offended was because she was getting attention from someone she deemed undesirable. "

she didn't get the attention she wanted, from who she wanted it from. the 'wrong person' gave her attention and it set her off.

i agree with the poster who said its not only men who look. i am a terrible people watcher and if someone(male or female) was dressed this way, with all their goodies hanging out, i would be looking! i admit it. lol. its not only at the gym though...some ppl at the fair i am positive didnt look in the mirror before going out. im all for dressing how you want but please keep in mind where you are going. i felt like i needed to shield the kids eyes(and mine too!!) haha.  
 

Your comment got me thinking, and I have always wondered what defines "stud" as apposed to the "regular guy", what one woman finds sexy or appealing the next woman may not.  
The idea of a double standard is something that I agree with but from a different point of view, women seem to think that if a man stares or leers at them, this is wrong, but when it comes to the shoe being on the other foot, it seems acceptable for women to give a man the up and down look and if the man feels uncomfortable, then there is something wrong with the man.  
 
MY opinion about the responsibility part is certain actions garner certain responses and one has to learn to live with the results of ones actions. An example that I have experienced is if I walk into the mall or walmart, looking like a grub, people have a completely different attitude towards me than if I get cleaned up a little. As has been mentioned by others who have commented you have to sacrifice at time, if you don't like the stares then you might have to workout in something not so comfy.

"its called nature....women will show off to the ''studs''...not so much for the regular guys..."  
 
 
Much as we like to think we are the "superior species" we do act a lot like other animals even if we don't want to believe we do. A good example is the mating dance of the prarie chicken. (although the males do more dancing around and chicken type stuff than the females do) The purpose is to be the most attractive to the local hot hen that is looking for a mate. Not entirely unsimilar to actions and dress seen by both males and females of the human species.  
 
The purpose of looking good is to attract the most desireable (in your personal opinion mind you) mate. Now I realize that not all people that look great are trying to attract a mate but there is no denying that everyone likes a compliment now and then. So in short if I look at you more than once take it as a compliment. I myself never have that problem.....  
 

FauxHawk said "I always smile a bit when I read these type of posts. I mean, come on....if a person goes somewhere, in this case the gym, and is wearing skin tight workout wear, then obviously that person knows that he/she will get more than just casual glances. Doesn't matter if it's a guy wearing skin tight workout shorts that fully highlights his "package" or if it's a woman wearing tight spandex shorts and a low cut tanktop. And let's just be honest here people, if we go to the gym wearing this, we obviously want people to check us out....nothing wrong with that. If we didn't want people to look at us then we would wear baggy gym pants and a teashirt that was 2 sizes too big, am I right? As humans we are constantly checking one another out....we can't help it. As long as that's all we do, who cares? Let's not pretend we don't expect it. "

haha you took the words out of my mouth... and as for checking another one out thats only human nature..I am a mom of 6 and i always check males and females out all the time and if i see a woman in tight clothes and attractive i always check her ass lol. its just human right... i love checking out both male and females butts and i love when ppl check out mine haha

When my son came from school today said that police called their school office. Their teacher told kids not to touch any can or bottle that they see on the ground or on the way home because it could be explosive.

traveller said "i do think a person bears some responsibility for how they dress, but others should show some class even when the type of dress doesn't require the observer to use there imagination, possibly though it wasn't the staring she was offended by but who was doing the staring, its funny how lots of people become offended when they attract attention from people they don't find desirable but even if the observer is less than perfect doesn't mean they don't admire a perfect body "

You hit the nail on the head. It not so much that they are looking, its WHO is looking.  
 
If there was total hunk checking her out, things may have neded up differently.  
 
We women have to take some responsibility for out outfits. If I wear a skin tight outfit and try and shove my DDDs into a tank top, I'm going to get looks.  
 

could always just go to the ladys side of the gym

I will usually always cover up , I wear a one piece bathing suit with shorts, and don't wear low cut neck for one reason only. I do not want men gawking at my body because it should only been seen in that context by my hubby. What kind of message are we portraying for young boys. Do we want our sons growing up thinking that women are just a piece of meat. IMHO wearing short skirts/shorts, low cut tops, baring ur midriff, and wearing bikinis / and or tankinis are sending the wrong message, and leaving very very little to the imagination! I don't want to walk around tempting guys to lust, or showing boys what they should not be looking at in the first place!! I do not want to be looked at like I'm a freaking piece of meat!

when going to the gym is a a fashion show or are you there to work out?