So... I am 36 weeks pregnant and up until now, have tried not to think about the whole giving birth part! It's getting closer and closer now and I'm starting to freak out a little bit! This is my first baby and I'm someone who cannot even stand to watch someone get a needle on t.v. never mind get one myself! Everyone in my family keeps telling me that they are really concerned for me because they know what a small tolerance to pain I have and they are worried for me! I want to hear people's experiences.. what do contractions actually feel like? Don't censor your responses either to make me feel better! I want to know the cold hard truth! Did you get an epideural? What did that feel like? Was it awful? lol TELL ME EVERYTHING!!!!

sadly, this cannot be answered. Every woman is different as is every birth and also the moms pains tolerance. I have a high pain tolerance and did not use any drugs for my labour for any of the 3. but yup it hurts, its no picnic. To me it felt like i was being split open from the crotch up. I also had back labour with one of them and that is no fun either, I find sitting in the shower helps, having the water beating on my back.  
 
Edited by Rebeldawn, 2012-06-12 11:30:42

I had four kids all of them with no pain control. It does hurt, a lot.  
 
However.. I would suggest you talk to your caregiver about pain control, such as an epidural. There is no shame in asking pain relief. There are other options as well as morphine, Demerol, and the gas. All of which can work with varying successes for everyone.  
 
There are natural methods as well, such as breathing techniques, warm water baths and meditation.  
 
It is always scary, especially when it is your first, but there are options out there to make it a good experience.  
 
I want to add that we often will surprise ourselves in what we are capable of handling. You will do well. Good luck and congratulations.

Just remember that the woman's body was meant for labour. Yes it is painful but as Rebeldawn said it is different for everyone. Being so fearful of the labour process may not be helpful for you in your journey into motherhood. Embrace your body and minds strength. Educate yourself on the breathing technique and other relaxation and focus techniques. There are medications to help with labour pain and epidurals are 95% effective. No medication will take away 100% of the pain.  
Remember that labour pains are never insurmountable as evidence by many having more that one child!!

but it felt like a red hot chainsaw splitting my body in half from the crotch up

And the pain is all worth it once you see your little baby and get to hold him/her in your arms!  
 
Having your family worry about you is only making you worry even more unfortunately.  
 
Have you had any braxton hics yet? (The hardening of the stomach muscles)  
 
I ended up having an epideural in the end. I had been contracting from about 1am in the morning, they broke my water at 4pm and I had my needle at about 9:30pm. Delivered my son at 11:45pm. The epi didn't work completely as it only froze one side and barely part of my right side... So that compounded the pain a lot where I could feel it. I was literally falling asleep between 1 minute contractions because I was so exhausted. My mom finally convinced me to take the needle, and imo, I wouldn't do it again. I should have just kept using the laughing gas. I couldn't feel when to stop pushing, when to start pushing again as well, and I ended up tearing because I pushed him out too fast/hard. I think you have much greater control at pushing the baby out when you can feel the pain. If you push too much or too fast, that's when you could tear. And if you can't feel what's going on, you don't know when to stop. You have to rely on the nurse or doctor to tell you to stop...It's all painful, but I'm sure it's a different pain if/when you tear compared to labor pain. Having stitches for a couple of weeks after is not fun either. Mind you, you can still tear anyways. You can opt for an epesiotimy (spelling?) but that is something you need to discuss with your doctor for sure. It's easier to stitch up than a tear, but may not be necessary either...

If u can't handle pain I definitely reccomend one as well as Demerol if offered and gas prob not all at the same time but I've had two kids and have used them all. My daughter was first and I was in labor for 24 hrs my water broke at home but with her it was honestly very easy every woman is different, I can honestly say with my daughter I don't even know what a real good contraction felt like. I got an epidural with her she was 7 lbs 10 oz and I also had an episiotomy with her which didn't hurt at all because of the epidural. My son was second he came two yrs later and he was hell lol I had an epidural with him as well he was 12 days late and I was induced with the cream which was the easiest part. Getting him out was terrible! He was a whopping 9lbs 6 oz and tore me terribly!! I've never screamed do bad in my life worst burning pain u will ever feel. But so worth it! Love my kids unconditionally! Go in there with an open mind u never know it could be a breeze for u or it could be terrible but were meant for this every woman can do it. Good luck!

Have you ever had really bad menstrual cramps? That is a good preview for early labour. I won't lie, it does really hurt during later labour, like 7-10cm, but it's all in how you can deal with it. If you simply cannot handle it, get an epidural early on, and you'll be fine. An epidural itself does not hurt any more than avregular needle, just a little poke.  
I did my labors with no drugs. One ended in c-section. And once I got the epidural for that, it was complete relief.  
One thing also to keep in mind is that just because the length of labour can sound overwhelming, the whole time is not going to be awful. My labour with my first was 15 hours, which sounds horrible, but there was only about an hour that I felt like I may not be able to handle anymore. And pushing relieves the pain of a contraction somewhat as well.  
Don't worry, you'll be fine, there are so many techniques and drugs to choose from, and you'll find what works best for you.  

......in ,I think Scientific American but could have been Science or perhaps Discover, about the science of controlling / measuring pain. In that article the pain of childbirth, at its peak, was compared to being at the same level, though not the same type,as having a finger lopped off sans anesthetic. This was based on a scale that was presented to each patient.  
 
I know there is a faction of mothers out there who are all for experiencing the pain of childbirth unhindered by the affects of anesthetic but, I think they are saddists.  
 
 
 
 

mango_sucker said "but it felt like a red hot chainsaw splitting my body in half from the crotch up "

That should make her feel better.  
 
I've had 2 one natural and the other I had and epideral. The worst experience of my life. It did'nt work properly. If you are planning to have more kids. I would have the first one natural. If it gets to be too much to bare. You can ask for something. One thing I can say is. Once the baby is born its true what they say. The pain all goes away.  
 
Best of luck to you

 
"Take your bottom lip, pull it over the top of your head, and that's what labor pain feels like."  
 

3 babies, 1 with drugs and 2 natural. After 33 hours with my first I finally got an epidural which was no picnic in itself. Vomiting and diarrhea consecutively for several hours. 2 episiotomies and one self made grand canyon rip.  
 
the worst pain you will ever imagine when it's coming out, especially if one is sideways like mine.  
 
However, it is true that once you hear that cry and hold your creation on your chest you will not care about the pain.  
 
Until...the afterbirth, that is. Cramps start again and you might think you are having another baby. Luckily it passes quickly and doesn't have a big boney head.

I wouldn't really read about others pain during labor lol. I've had 4 and honestly its not bad, it does hurt, BUT you know its only temporary it will come to an end! I've had epidurals before and really they're not bad, they hurt less than the contractions! You can't see whats happening with that anyway. The one you might have issues with if you hate needles is the IV. Just share your concerns with the nurses when you go into the hospital. Generally they are really great at helping you through that and calming your fears. Seriously though while it does hurt it is still something you can handle! There's no shame in getting an epidural, it doesn't make you a better mom/woman to not have one! Your body was designed to be able to do this so you will be able to do it!

I don't even remember my afterbirth. I was so engrossed with my son I didn't feel it. Till after that is...  
 
Tip that your probably aware of, use a diaper (yes, a diaper) packed with ice to sit on. Works greeeat!  
 
yup, when you hold your baby for the first time, you almost forget everything you just went through looking into your baby's eyes.  
 
Also, make sure you have a good, strong support group. You can have only 2 people max in the room with you. Make sure you trust them, and that at least one if not both of them are/is able to keep you very focused on your task.  
 
I did panic at one point, and my hubbie was able to snap me out of it.He got me back on track paying attention to getting past the contractions. They are different for everyone, but they are kind of like a charlie horse/severe menstral type of pain.  
 
Have you done any pre-natal classes? Did you go through any different positions of laboring at all? They do help quite a bit, and don't let anyone "make" you do any position or breathing that you are uncomfortable with either. Breath in a manor that works for you.

I have a fairly high pain tolerance and I still got an epidural. There was no ifs ands or buts about that option. Planned on getting it right from the start. Before i got it, I waited until i was 5cm (half way there) and it felt like fairly bad cramps at that point, nothing to extreme though, for me anyways. After the epidural i felt like i could do it all over again. And in my opinion if you hate needles, the IV you get in your hand hurts worse then the epidural in your back. Its sooo worth having it! My epidural was turned up rather high so i didnt feel anything, enough pressure to know when i had to push but that's it. I would say I had an amazing labour. Definitely get the epidural!

Have you thought of hiring a doula? I think you would benefit from having one.

You women are crazy, It looks just like a hiccup or a sneeze and its done and over with... Or it looks like the pain you get from stubbing your toe

I have 3 children and I had epidurals for all 3. With my first I went almost the entire way without an epidural. I had back labor as well as regular labor. It was definitely not a picnic. There was medical reasons why I chose to get an epidural and in my opinion it was definitely worth it.  
When I had my 2nd and 3rd I chose to get an epidural so I wouldn't have to go through the same thing as the 1st. You honestly won't know what you really want until you are in the situation. I know some people that had barely any pain at all. Each woman is different and so is each labor.

I went thru 4 births and a miscarriage.  
 
Each one was different.  
I even had a silent labour! Lucky me!  
 
My first was horible cramps and a very strong want to have a B.M. but could not.  
2 hours in doc broke my water. I had a shower( oh so nice) then off to the labour room. Yes painful then but i did not care, need to push too over - forgot it all once i was hold the little guy.  
 
Next one was 4 hours of silent labour but leaking water. I had a midwife, loved her! I kept walking most of the wait time, then came 45 min of active ( i felt it) labour and forgot it all once, I held my daughter.  
 
Third was a miscarriage that was a horrible experience.  
 
Next time laboured for 3 days on and off right down to 4 min apart then it would all but stop. Painful and getting sick. Finally I just had an inner feeling that she was coming for real and 3 hours later she did. Nurse insisted I use oxygen mask to get some extra air to her as the cord was firmly wraped around her neck. I birth on my side with my hubby supporting my one leg. This was the best position for me.  
 
Last daughter I started labour very early morning and got to the small town hospital but the hospital did not have the correct orders. They needed to stop the labour because the pasenta had not been working right and she was going to be too small.  
When they got the correct orders it was too late and my tiny daughter came into the world. I birth on my side for this one too so much nicer then on my back! We went home 5 days later but ended up in Brandon hospital 2 days later, we were admitted as a unit mommy and baby and she received the care she needed. We were home for good 6 weeks of age.  
 
Remember this is your labour.  
You need to do what is best for you.  
Listen to your body.  
Staying at home as long as you can allows you have the freedom to move and do and you want.  
 
Try out the different birth postions, so your partner know how he/she can assist you. Take you favorite or comfy items with you pillow, blanket, music whatever.  
 
Yes it is alot of unknown, but please go in with a positive attitude. You will handle whatever pain level you are given it will be over ( for the most part) with a bundle of joy in your arms.  
 
Best wishes to you and your little bundle of joy!

I second the idea of hiring a doula.  
 
A doula is a trained labour support companion, who helps you during your prenatal period and, especially, during your birth. And, its never too late to hire a doula! Having supportive birth attendants is not a new concept. The word “doula” is ancient Greek, referring to experienced women who would accompany new mothers in the birthing room, offering them comfort and sharing their knowledge of birth. The continuous support of a birth doula establishes a positive birthing environment where mothers can be secure in the knowledge that they CAN do this, and they CAN have a positive birth experience. You will, after all, remember it forever.  
 
Why would you want a doula? Well, studies show improved medical outcomes for moms and babies who are assisted by a labor support person. Significantly shorter labors, lower Caesarean rates, fewer instances of forceps and vacuum extraction deliveries, and higher breastfeeding success rates are just some of the benefits of having a birth doula. There are also long term and emotional benefits of doula support including: less reports of pain in labor: fewer infant health problems, such as colds and vomiting: lower maternal anxiety and depression and improved parent-infant bonding.  
 
Either way - its going to hurt. However, your body is designed to manage and tolerate the pain of birth. If you do consider pain management, be sure to get as much information as you can. Epidurals, for example, do not remove all of the pain of labour. They also do not work for all women, and the medication does affect your baby, as well. It is definitely an option, though, and there is no shame in choosing some pain management. But you will be surprised what you can handle, and in the end - your baby will be more than worth anything you have to go through.  
 
If you're interested in a doula, send me a message and I can point you in the direction of several. Or check out Natural Beginnings Doula Services on Facebook.  
 
Congratulations, and best of luck!  

It hurts, but I didn't think it was so bad in the end. Like someone else said, it was worth it, and you're so engrossed in your baby you don't really notice the rest.  
 
I found the 1st one was the scariest because I didn't know what to expect. The 3rd was the hardest because labour started late in the day (with my other 2 it started first thing in the morning) so I was very tired already.  
 
Get pain relief if you need, sometimes the fear of the pain will impede progress. I don't know, however, if you have an epidural if you can walk around. Maybe someone who has had one can answer that. I can tell you from experience the best way to help labour is to be upright and walking around as it helps babe get into the correct spot and gets gravity working for you.  
 
Good luck and congrats!

Tamika 01 said "    mango_sucker said "but it felt like a red hot chainsaw splitting my body in half from the crotch up " That should make her feel better.     I've had 2 one natural and the other I had and epideral. The worst experience of my life. It did'nt work properly. If you are planning to have more kids. I would have the first one natural. If it gets to be too much to bare. You can ask for something. One thing I can say is. Once the baby is born its true what they say. The pain all goes away.     Best of luck to you "

uh uh! its just the beginning. Now you have to painfully raise the liitle tyke up. And it doesn't stop there. They become adults who ook up to you forever! Hope the best for all you new mommies and enjoy this birthing pain cause its the best pain you will ever encounter.

I had one with my first and it was terrible. I did not know when to push because I felt no pain. with my second and third I had nothing and honestly it was not that bad. every woman is different.  
 
but in the end you have this beautiful little baby to hold and love. it is so worth it. if the pain was that bad nobody would have another.

All different!  
 
What I learned and can't emphasize enough to first-time moms:  
 
Pitocin, gel, breaking the water etc. or anything they do to 'augment' your labor or induce labor is a real game-changer in the pain department. Seriously. If you are thinking of going 'natural' then please give yourself a huge break on your pain tolerance as soon as those interventions are involved. That is NOT your natural labor, NOT your natural pain, and NOT what women did in the bushes while biting on a branch 500 years ago. If you can't hack the pain of induced contractions, do not beat yourself up because they can be crazy out of control pain, non-stop, one on top of another, and can be that strong for HOURS AND HOURS before you ever even get close to pushing.  
 
I know a lot of moms, esp. first time moms get excited when the doctor gives them a date and says 'if you don't go into labor by this day, we'll likely induce' and I am scared for them because trying to evict a baby before you go into labor naturally is usually so much harder on your body. Ask the reasoning for it, get non-stress tests, make sure it's really in your and the baby's best interest, not just because the doctor is willing and you're ready to get this show on the road. You have the rest of your life to enjoy the new baby, and meeting him or her a few days later might seem like torture now, but it won't matter later.  
 
Even if you know 10000% you want an epidural, please please please pay attention to the breathing, relaxation techniques they try to teach you, etc. I've also been in the position where I arrive at the hospital too late to get the epidural, and the worst thing about it was feeling out of control and unable to calm myself down - I'd managed to keep it together on the way as long as I thought, it's just going to be until the epidural - and then they said I wasn't getting one and I was scared, I panicked. I didn't remember what they told me about how to breathe to calm myself down because I never planned to be in that position!  
 
My last two I got to the hospital in plenty of time, and actually left the hospital to shop and browse all day and through my labor. That is how my 'natural' contractions are - nobody walking past me in Home Depot would be aware I was having one, and I was just barely aware, but I'd scribble the time on a notebook to keep track. That went on all day. The more you move the better, and that is why I wait until I am uncomfortable to ask for an epidural.  
 
The thing about my natural contractions is that the space in between them is peaceful and painless, and I know the length of them and can breathe through for the most part. As soon as Pitocin is involved or my water breaks, it's RIDICULOUS pain and they are one on top of the other and my labor is like transition labor (you've seen this on TV where the woman is seriously uncomfortable and in pain) - and that can go on for hours.  
 
So, there's my advice to all new moms - be careful about interventions and inductions, make sure you have pain management planned (and know where the anesthesiologist is) before you let them give you pitocin, gel or break your water. Because you lose a lot of your body's ability to manage the pain once that happens.  
 
Also, watch The Business of Being Born if you want to know a bit more of what to expect. I had all of my babies at Brandon hospital, and was very happy with how things went and felt like it all went according to what was best for me and the baby each time - the movie sort of opened my eyes to the fact that they really have you on a schedule that has nothing to do with your particular labor or your baby. Don't get me wrong, they take REALLY good care of you, but it is a process and you're just one of many women laboring at the time. The goal is to get a healthy baby each time, but there are other factors at play. If they're inducing it might be because it fits their schedule and workload and your doctor has been up since 6 am and already delivered 8 babies today. Not because it is necessary for you or your baby.  
 
SO. On that note, be open to any Tom, Dick or Harry strolling in and delivering your baby. The nurses who are with you are the ones who really help out the process, and you don't get to pick them. It's not your doctor's fault he/she has many other patients and appointments. My doctor kept meeting me in the hall apologizing for not 'helping me out' but she had 6 other babies to deliver. I appreciate that kind of honesty. I said - hey, I'm FINE! I don't need to be 'helped out' - the baby will come when he is ready and you can be here or not. Don't stress!

My first birth was not a walk in the park, my second was better. I had epidurals with both deliveries. With my second baby, Dr Saba gave me an episiotomy...they seriously suck. My first epidural froze me too much & I was so numb I didn't even know when to push, kinda disappointing. My second epidural was amazing! I could move my legs & feel my contractions so I knew when to push but all with no pain at all. Bring something to focus on like a favorite photo or object. You need to stay focused. Try as much as you can not to scream, it will waste all your energy & you will need every ounce you have. As for the gas, it just made me looped and made my head spin so after 1 suck on that I tossed it aside. Get a sitz bath for at home after baby, if you have a vaginal delivery its the most wonderful thing! Take home the little squirty bottle they give you for rinsing. Buy a package of Depends to wear for the first few days after when you may experience some very heavy bleeding. Wet a few newborn diapers & stash them open in the freezer for a cold pack for your bum, absorbent & they are wonderful for pain too. You will do fine! Let's put it this way, the pain is bad but it won't make you never want to have another baby . Good luck to you!

Have you thought of hiring a doula? I think you would benefit from having one.

This thread frightens me, lol! I'm pregnant right now & am now un sure if I want an epidural, I don't want to be so frozen that I can't feel when to push.

Flushable wipes. Buy a gentle/natural kind (I like Walmart's Nice n' Clean) put them in your hospital bathroom. You'll find out why.  
 

If you are totally terrified of the pain going in, it's likely to make it worse. Try not to let horror stories about painful deliveries get to you. Reading these threads will show you some very important things to think about. Everyone is different. Every delivery is different.  
 
The best thing I can say is to tell your doctor and the nurses at the hospital that you are worried about the pain. Trust them that they can help you out with pain relief when you need it. Stay calm, focus on the beautiful baby you will be bringing home, and just let things happen.  
 
The odds that you will NOT have a bad painful delivery are just as high, if not higher than the odds of having a difficult one.  
 
When you see that baby for the first time, you will know, along with everyone here, that there will never be an accomplishment that makes you so glad you did it.  

For me with my first child, labour was easy for me...all natural no painkillers...what hurt more for me was being stitched up after. Seems weird I no.....just Breath that's what I focused on