My mom is married to a man i despise. He treated her horribly and they are constantly fighting. I left to live with my father when i was young because of this man. Now i am an adult and am trying to help my mom get out of her horrible relationship. She is having a hard time finding a job and a place to live. She has a small dog and a lot of places wont take a dog. Her first step is to find a job.. but where do we go after that? I can only do so much for her as I have my own bills to pay for and cannot afford to pay her bills also. she is desperately wanting out but i dont know how to help her.. what should i do?

Get in touch with the Woman's Shelter. Emotional abuse is just as bad as a slap on the face.  
 
(204) 726-8632 is the number for the Resource Centre on Princess.  
http://thewomenscentrebrandon.com/index.htm  
 
They will have the number for the Shelter. I may be able to help with the dog until she gets settled.

she should get a job and then take any dump that will take her, can't be worse than living with someone she can't stand or if its really bad she could go to SA for help, either way, you can't do it for her she has to find a way to do it herself and if she truly wants out there is always a way, if she doesn't there is always excuses

I don't know about the shelter. She has too much pride to go. Its taken her years to even agree to leave.

Boost said "I don't know about the shelter. She has too much pride to go. Its taken her years to even agree to leave. "

I feel real sorry for her but why can't she stay with you while she finds a place and gets a job and saves up a bit , may be a little crowded but way safer for her and that is the important thing isn't it....

I have offered for her to stay with me. Were unsure of what to do with the dog. And her financial situation. I am already paying her phone bill and I am not sure how much I can afford to tackle right now.

Boost said "I have offered for her to stay with me. Were unsure of what to do with the dog. And her financial situation. I am already paying her phone bill and I am not sure how much I can afford to tackle right now. "

free room and board is probably the best thing you can do for the SHORT term

For helping your mother thru a terrible  
Situation. Don't take this the wrong way but don't get too emotionally attached and involved to the point it drains your personal finances, relationships and drains your energy. Give her resources and be supportive be she will have to do and decide this new life transition solely on her own. Too many times I have seen kids help their parents and then ruined their lives in the process only for their family member to return to the relationship . Not saying this applies to your family. Best of luck light love and strength to your brave mother.

I have given her options and strength. The rest is up to her. She is a strong woman but she just needs to refind that strength that's been masked for so long. My main goal right now is to find her a decent job. Its hard to find one for her because she has back problems. Once she finds a job the rest will hopefully fall into place.

junebug said "For helping your mother thru a terrible   Situation. Don't take this the wrong way but don't get too emotionally attached and involved to the point it drains your personal finances, relationships and drains your energy. Give her resources and be supportive be she will have to do and decide this new life transition solely on her own. Too many times I have seen kids help their parents and then ruined their lives in the process only for their family member to return to the relationship . Not saying this applies to your family. Best of luck light love and strength to your brave mother. "

second this opinion. Not that your mother will do this or is "that" type of person. However as some have suggested, I do not feel that the women's shelter is an option based on the information you have provided. Is she able to work, does she have a resume and can she work?

She has been trying to find a job for several months. She keeps getting told she is either over qualified or under qualified. No one seems to want to hire her. If she could find a job, she could hopefully continue the process to being on her own

I think sitting down with your Mom, & having a serious conversation on just how much you care for her & want to support her decission to leave is very important. But in the sitting you must make her aware that you can only do so much. But that your love & compassion & understanding is always there for her. It is always very difficult when the roles of parenting are reversed & the younger member has to act somewhat like a parent. It is very hard for an older person sometimes to make the nessasary changes they need to make in order to clean up their lifes. You always have to remember to love yourself enough in that you take care of who your are. You will be no good for her or for yourself if you give away all your power and energy. Try to endure with love & plenty of patience.  
 
Not knowing how old your Mom is I am not sure in what fields of the work force you Mom has been in. I do know that Super Store & Sobeys are both hiring for all depts. There is also the Manitoba Home Care program that always require Home support workers or medical personel. This could be a start anyhow.  
 
I wish you well in your endevers to help your Mom

Anything is better than the situation she was in, and her pride is her enemy at this point. You have to help her see that. She has to accept ANY job and ANY scummy apartment JUST FOR NOW, it is ONLY TEMPORARY, if she refuses to go to the women's shelter. However maybe if you ask them to show her the rooms (after she's seen some of the skeezy apartments) she'll realize it's a better place to be.  
 
At one point in my life, I found myself having to work at McDonalds. This is after cushy 9-5 jobs, two college degrees, and never worrying about money. Sometimes crap happens and you have to pick yourself up, but THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Congrats to your mother for getting the courage to leave. It takes a lot for a women to do so.  
 
Help her find a job first, and I agree, first unholy place that will take her and her dog is better then being there with that man.  
 
Wish your mom the best of luck .

I have sat down with her. We have worked out a bit of a game plan. We are going to start moving her small things to a storage facility and when she gets a job we will move all of her things either to storage and have her stay with me or find a cheap place for her to live. she feels she has put up with her husband for so long now that what is a another few weeks till she gets things all lined up. I hope things wil work out quickly. Im afraid she'll change her mind. I lost her once already, i dont want to lose her again. She not only has 3 kids but now has grand children that she could lose if things dont change.

My mom is in a relationship with a man who pretty much made her choose between her family or him. This man constantly "stalks" her (which I mean , he does'nt let her out of his site). I now don't alk to her anymore cause of this.

That is exactly what he does to her also! Its bad. He is constantly accusing of cheating, or being a tease. He is the main reason that she does not have a job. She gets a job she enjoys and he sees that she is happy and he tells her she has to quit the job and stay at home to cook and clean for him. It is horrible. The cell phone she has is under my name because he kept taking her cell phone away because he assumed she was talking to other men on it. So i got her a cell phone that he is not allowed to touch.  
I dont understand why people think they can get away with this behavior.  
It is horrible. I found myself in a similar relationship but i am glad i relaized what was going on and left it. I know how hard it is to start all over again with nothing. I know she can do it also. She isnt old at all. She is in her mid 40's. I know she can do it.

I will refer you to try Maple leaf is hiring and some offices. but, depend on how decent you find it.  
 
I wish ya goodluck.