I've recently lost a parent to cancer. Since then I have been finding myself constantly concerned with my own health. Every ache and pain that I have had has got me wondering if it is cancer. I feel overly worried with my health, I've even been dreaming about having cancer. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this irrational fear after having lost a parent and how long until it goes away.

Get a copy of the medical report as to the type of cancer that your parent had. Depending on the type, your medical diagnosis can then be tailored with this information in mind.  
 
With the loss of my husband, I did not immediately understand the request from his sister for this information. After giving her a copy and her passing it into her medical file, it was determined that it was not genetic but an environmental cancer. It relieved her worries and got me wondering if it was environment as in his home or where he worked.  
 
For Christmas, my mother gave us children the medical report from her colon cancer. This meant that she cared about us and I really appreciated it. Trying to ignore the situation could cause more worries later. I booked my first invasive exam and will, because of that report, be checked on a regular basis so if I do develop the same type of cancer, it too can be caught in the early stages.  
 
My condolences on your loss. It sounds like you are going through a normal phase in the stages of grief that I recently studied in an English Literature course. You are normal. Doing something like getting more information may help that part of the brain that is interrupting your sleep.

I think this is a normal concern. You are certainly not alone in your concerns. There is nothing wrong with going to your doctor and going through your concerns, finding out if the cancer is hereditary, etc. A good doctor will take you seriously. I still believe the best defence against cancer is a healthy lifestyle, including eating healthy, and a good combination of vitamins.

morethanenough said "I think this is a normal concern. You are certainly not alone in your concerns. There is nothing wrong with going to your doctor and going through your concerns, finding out if the cancer is hereditary, etc. A good doctor will take you seriously. I still believe the best defence against cancer is a healthy lifestyle, including eating healthy, and a good combination of vitamins. "

My best friends' Mom ate only organic and free range foods. She took her vitamins and was a avid runner. She died of stage 4 stomach cancer than spread to her liver, bones and brain. While I do believe a healthy lifestyle is important, it's not always A preventative measure of cancer. My Mother is extremely healthy also and is a two-time cancer survivor. I pray she never experiences it again!  

Anne Tellope said "    morethanenough said "I think this is a normal concern. You are certainly not alone in your concerns. There is nothing wrong with going to your doctor and going through your concerns, finding out if the cancer is hereditary, etc. A good doctor will take you seriously. I still believe the best defence against cancer is a healthy lifestyle, including eating healthy, and a good combination of vitamins. " My best friends' Mom ate only organic and free range foods. She took her vitamins and was a avid runner. She died of stage 4 stomach cancer than spread to her liver, bones and brain. While I do believe a healthy lifestyle is important, it's not always A preventative measure of cancer. My Mother is extremely healthy also and is a two-time cancer survivor. I pray she never experiences it again!   "

I have an aunt who says no one in her family will get cancer, I guess they think that they are perfect. Just what I want to hear when a family member is going thru chemo and radiation, not to mention surgery. Cancer CAN affect anyone, no matter how well they take care of themselves!

Anne Tellope said "    morethanenough said "I think this is a normal concern. You are certainly not alone in your concerns. There is nothing wrong with going to your doctor and going through your concerns, finding out if the cancer is hereditary, etc. A good doctor will take you seriously. I still believe the best defence against cancer is a healthy lifestyle, including eating healthy, and a good combination of vitamins. " My best friends' Mom ate only organic and free range foods. She took her vitamins and was a avid runner. She died of stage 4 stomach cancer than spread to her liver, bones and brain. While I do believe a healthy lifestyle is important, it's not always A preventative measure of cancer. My Mother is extremely healthy also and is a two-time cancer survivor. I pray she never experiences it again!   "

No, there seem to be no guarantees against getting it, that's for sure. I've been doing a lot of research to help my kids steer clear of cancer since it is in their family history and am learning a little. So sorry for both of your losses.  
 
Edited by morethanenough, 2012-08-09 21:57:03

it was not cancer but heart that kind of scared me. I am still slightly at times but the key is being able to accept the card that is handed you.  
 
Watching my DAD go through what he has in life, Quad bypass, stent, hip replacement, total knee replacement, prostrate and stones the ailments I may have are nothing to what he has gone through.  
 
I am grateful to the medical people that have cared for him and the love they have given him throughout all this. This all started for him at I believe 68 and he is 82 today and loving life and living it to his fullest even though his body is tired and hurting.  
 
What I hope I can take from him is how I feel he has made peace with his life and is prepared for the inevitable. I think that is the key to not worrying about illness. Is making peace with yourself and understanding that one day you will die. That is why I live for today. I live in the moment.  
 
I think one of the keys to cancer prevention is trying to avoid the restaurant and processed foods. Yes it is fast and easy but man talk about the garbage we fuel ourselves with.  
 
Just my opinion.  
 
Shooterguy

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can relate to how you must feel. I have lost every single relative that is gone on both sides to cancer and have one aunt and one great aunt that are survivours. So I basically know my fate. It is scary indeed.  
But you can be preventative if you know the type of cancer. Get the tests, take the vitamins, etc.  
It is hard but it gets easier. I just lost an aunt I was very close to so my fears are creeping up again.  
Try to focus on living and all the wonderful things in your life as much as you can. Keep busy, and hopefully you will feel better soon.

I don't think your fears are irrational. You have concerns and that's understandable.  
 
I agree with katwalk that it is a good idea to find out the specific type of cancer your parent had.  
 
Personally, I would suggest that you get an annual physical, and inform your doctor about the type of cancer your parent had. Make a plan with your doctor how best to monitor your health for the future. I think that might help you feel a bit better.  
 
On my mother's side, my great grandmother developed cancer and lost, my grandmother developed cervical cancer and beat it. My mother discovered cancer in her salivary glands at age 39, she fought it until she lost the battle in 1999 at age 47. My mother's older sister has since developed breast cancer, had the cancer removed and is so far doing ok. My father's youngest sister passed away from cancer in the 1980's in her early 30's.  
 
No cancer has been the same for any of the women in my family. I get an annual physical, blood tests etc. My doctor knows my history of cancer, diabetes and allergies. I try to eat well and take care of myself. I think sleep is the most important thing.  
 
The thought of cancer crosses my mind once in a while, but I turned 39...and then 40... and I didn't get cancer like my mom. Hopefully my annual exam will alert my doctor to any changes in my health. If it happens, I'll deal with it then. If I lose one moment in worry, that's one moment I can't get back.  
 
My step father died of a heart attack at age 43. My father died in a car accident at age 24. Our previous employers ate 1/2 grapefruit, a bowl of porridge with real cream, 2 eggs, bacon and toast every day of their lives for breakfast and they both lived to be 90 (still living and working on the farm where they were born.) My point is that we don't know when we're going to die. But we can choose to live well, and celebrate everyday we're here. Use the good china, everyday! Wear your fancy rings, or shoes..or whatever. Don't wait for a special occasion. (k, I realize this is getting a bit philosophical)  
 
I grew up always saving for one day...but I realized that maybe that one day won't come. So while I still save for the future, I'm gonna enjoy some of that today.  
 
Be proactive with your health, and live life to the fullest.  
 
“Life is what you make of it.”