Discussions

How do you feel safe at night? Long story short, I went through a home invasion a few years ago and moved into a good neighbourhood after that. LL area. Recently it’s been a real struggle to fall asleep at night as I’m so afraid it will happen again. Sometimes I have really bad anxiety attacks. Most nights I stay up until 5-6am or until the sun starts to peek out but it’s starting to affect my day-to-day life as a full-time student and mother.  
 
Are there any methods to combat these feelings of unease? I keep being told this is a good, safe area but I just can’t shake these feelings no matter how hard I try.

I have problems with anxiety. I was assaulted in my hotel room in 2016. My husband helped me a great deal making me feel safe. He passed away and as I couldn’t live in rural home. I moved to apartment in town.  
 
So dealing with grief and anxiety.  
 
Crisis line 204-725-4411 is open 24/7. Call anytime the nurses who answer are very good.  
 
I have night lights in every room Helps me to see at night. Not just for kids.  
 
Use music to fall asleep.  
 
Keep all electronics out of bedroom and only use for sleeping. Make sure to keep cell phone by your bed and charged fully.  
 
If you have someone who can help, have them check your place to make it safer. Like windows and front door.  
 
Never tell anyone whether or not you have valuables in your home.  
 
Have someone to talk to like a councillor Unfortunately easier said then done. At one point there was a waiting list of 70 needing a counsellor at the town centre.  
 
If you have a family dr talk about possible anti anxiety medication. At all costs avoid sleeping pills only lead to greater problems. Been there.  
 
If you have someone who has been there, use email conversations with. Not as counselling but just talking to each other.  
 
I think there are still groups that get together and support each other. Make sure it is a legitimate group.  
 
I find adult colouring books helpful. Relaxing and focusing your mind.  
 
Audiobooks are good. Just have them on when you go to bed listen and I find I fall asleep.  
 
Cutting caffeine after supper helps.  
 
There are some real good books you can find on dealing with this.  
 
Relaxation exercises if you like that can be helpful  
 
Some find keeping a journal helpful.  
 
Keep a notebook by your bed if you are thinking of something you need to do or get. Just write it that helps to get it out of your head.  
 
If you want to talk more just message me.  
 
All the best

Boobie traps.

I don’t think anywhere in Brandon is a “good, safe area” anymore. Just look at the crime stats, Brandon has gone to S***

Have you considered counselling/ therapy? If you don't have a job with an EAP or benefit plan that would cover the cost, it is available free through PMH Mental Health Services, call 204-578-2400.

Not sure if you currently run any kind of security or camera systems but they might help a bit, I count myself lucky I've never been home invaded but when I lived in Brandon I did have someone scale my 6' fence and try to pry open my sheds and garage around 3am according to my camera review the next morning.  
 
I turned off the camera motion alerts long before that due to constant false alerts, but it was nice being able to turn on a tv and see a nearly 360 degree view around my house whenever the need arose.  
 
I installed a wireless ring alarm system from home depot, it was never monitored by a call center (not sure if its even an option in canada) it would just text alert me on my phone app when anything was triggered.  
 
It installs with 2 sided tape or screws and uses AA batteries that last well over a year, even outside.  
 
Once I realized they had wireless exterior sensors I installed them on all my fence gates, that gave me a great sense of relief and was helpful as I caught multiple people that way, luckily they were either hydro meter readers or on one occasion someone trying to use my 6' high fully fenced in yard as a short cut.

I don’t think anywhere in Brandon is a “good, safe area” anymore. Just look at the crime stats, Brandon has gone to S***  
 
in response to summertime's really feckless comment, i invite them to look at the crime map. Brandon has not gone to s*** as you claim. brandon doesnt even come close to the crime rate of other cities.  
let me guess you saw someone panhandling once and now brandon isn't what it used to be? grow up and stop fear mongering on the internet.  
as for the OP i really, really encourge you to google Divergent Counseling Services and find someone you're comfortable with to talk to and work through your very real anxieties. these things can be overcome and i hope you can find sleep and peace.

You mentioned your are a full time student. Reach out to your student's association to see if you have health coverage and whether counselling is i:ncluded in that coverage.

I am not sure if you would want the responsibility but having a large dog seems to be an Excellent deterrent. Do all you can. Best wishes you get some relief.

I am a HUGE advocate for women learning martial arts… self defence class minimum. I am personally a black belt in a number of arts. I’ve only had to really use it a couple of times in crappy unique situations. You probably won’t have to ever use it, but it does help with confidence. Knowing that you are prepared. Same idea as a emergency kit, you hope to never use it, but knowing it is there is calming.

Self defence learning is great. It does increase your self esteem. Plus physical activity.  
 
BUT. First choices is running, screaming  
 
And if they want your purse or wallet give it. Nothing in it is worth your life or getting hurt.  
 
Using self defence is final option. If you are in a position that it is only option remember fight and fight dirty.  
 
When someone says they won’t hurt or kill you if you corporate they are lying!!  
 
Call 911 when you can safely do so. If you have cellphone set the emergency phone bottom on your locked screen.  
 
Can’t stand movies that a woman comes up to her house door obviously broken into so goes in to see what happened. I scream at the TV saying what are you doing?

Any person who knows any form of proper self defence will tell you that not fighting is the best thing. Again, self defence teaches you to walk away (or scream and run)…. Anyone telling you to stand and fight is an idiot….  
 
Society puts such a stigma out there that the brave are the ones who stand in danger… however it is the wise who don’t find themselves there in the first place.