Discussions

No idea on this! Or how to explain to my children. My daughter is 8 and she knows her auntie loves a girl because "you love who you love" but I had a bit of a hard time trying to explain why some people are born with man/woman parts but don't identify as a man/woman. I would like to explain or have a conversation because I feel like the more they know the more accepting they will be. Which brings me to how this topic came up, we were in a store today and she had seen a "guy dressed as a girl" started to giggle and attempted to whisper to her friend. When we got to the car I asked why she acted like that although I had a feeling. I tried to put into words that I wasn't sure about that particular situation but I know our body parts don't define who we are or what we can wear or toys we can play with etc. It was enough for her to know that it wasn't a joke but I would like to hear some helpful advice on explaining it to them better. As for the cashier she would like you to know "she feels like the worst person in the world and never wanted to be a bully" (she knows bullies tease so she said it was like teasing) what do I say so that I am not misinforming my kids?

Explain that sometimes when we're growing in our moms that the body (male/female) you get is just random....so sometimes it ends up that you're born with a male body but are a female in all other aspects, and vice versa.  
If it helps her to understand....try to explain that our "soul" (who we are, our personality...whatever word you want to use) is separate from our body. So that way she sees that there are two types of bodies we can get, and two types of "souls"....so sometimes they can get mishmashed.  
Hope this helps?

There is a fantastic resource centre in Winnipeg called the Rainbow Resource Centre. Look them up online I know they can and will help you out.

you could see if serc has any resources for that but whether you see a person cross dress,love the same sex,have funny colored hair, wear a turban or a burka or any other thing that is different then how your family is imo iyt is just a variation of how people live, no right or wrong way, just what each individual likes or wants to do, which as a society makes us great, if we were all the same life would be boring so while i do think you are doing a fantastic job enlightening your daughter on the difference you guys saw and her reaction i think i would explain it like you have been and make sure she knows no matter what kind of difference she encounters people should be treated with respect just as she would like people to treat her, sounds like she is a kind girl who is just learning about the world, hopefully the cashier understands and sees her apology

I have always taught my kids that the only thing your genitals define about you is what kind of gametes you make.  
 
If she's wondering why someone is dressed as a "girl", ask her what that means and why she thinks that boys only dress one way and girls another. You can explain that many boys aren't comfortable wearing dresses, but some are, and some are only comfortable wearing dresses, just like some girls never want to wear dresses and some love it.  
 
Explain that even though she may like wearing pants, 100 years ago this would have been scandalous and she would have been "dressing like a boy". Ask her to think about what people might dress like 100 years in the future.  
 
A person's sex organs only really affect themselves and any sexual partner they might have. We don't need to be concerned about them, and our job as bystanders is to stand by and let people carry on with their lives as they choose to live them.

many garments that are today considered women's were originally either male or both. Throughout most of human history, skirts and dresses as they are known now were the most common form of clothing. Due to there simplicity. Pants only came common in past 500 years or so. High-heeled shoes were also worn by both men and women.  
 
Edited by Trevor B, 2016-04-10 09:37:17