Discussions

So I recently started working back in a field I worked years ago and there are always unexpected things come up for staying late and coming in on weekends, which I don't mind doing but does get challenging because for 25 years that I have been in the workforce, I always get the "you are single, you have nothing to do" and almost and expected to always be there and it does get draining. Sometimes I do have things I want to do but it always come down to me having to cancel because "Little Johnny has hockey" and I do feel pressure to give in as decents jobs are sometimes hard to find. This article has so many truths! Who else has stories.  
 
https://newsstand.google.com/articles/CAIiEF8T8ufIVksyxLR-afUVJAUqGAgEKg8IACoHCAowi4-MATDXsRUwhP2ZAg

not sure what type of job you have but its on the complete opposite of the spectrum im on. im a single parent of two teens, i get all the crap shifts, stay lates and call ins when the "single" ones dont want to show up. do i benefit in wage or lots of hours? nope not at it ends up that i get less hours scheduled than the singles, and have actually been told things like...oh but he/she has bills to pay, i feel bad, so im giving them extra hours this pay period:/ ....so i feel ya on the other end of the spectrum

I'm with the previous poster. All my single co workers get the awesome shifts...i get the call ins because they want to go party the night before or had a beach day plan come up, or they have been "working too much" and need an evening/weekend off... I've got 3 kids, I don't get the option of calling in as money is more tight then when I was single , and then have to take care of them, cook, clean when I get home so my "down time" is between 11pm and 6am with multiple getting ups in the night, then I have to go function properly during my day..... ironically the other night was overhearing single (or child free) people talk, or more like complain for nearly 3 hours straight about how they were having such a hard time....made me remember years ago when I would sit and complain for hours about how hard and unfair it all was.... oh how I miss those days sometimes lol.. but hey, life is a series phases. Everyone in each phase has their own pressures, their own responsibilities, their own short end of the sticks... those who choose to have children have to find a balance: those without children have to find a balance. It's life..

I never had this problem when I worked in Winnipeg. Brandon employers seem to think that because I have no kids or family here, I have no life and therefore, deserve less respect than employees with families. I have actually been told, "Well, you don't have any family, you can work through Christmas to which I replied, "I've volunteered the last two!"  
 
I learned very quickly to have my after 5 life planned. What employers here seem to forget is, we SINKs aren't the ones calling in for sick kids, kid appointments, school functions, etc. We make our appointments after work hours and work our scheduled days.  
 
I wish employers would realize that just because we don't have kids, we're still busy and they shouldn't assume or expect that we should drop everything to work late because mom has a sick kid.  
 
It's frustrating.

Congrats for you for not  
Calling in sick cause your kids are sick, also congrats for not knowing what it's like to be DIW/K and having to split the time off to take care of your kids, and I hope you got special recognition for not calling on sick to work to look after your kids, because I know what it's like to go to work when your sick to provide for your kids, I'm not saying that if your single you should get all the shifts that don't jive with your life, but as someone who works5 days a week and misses about 80% of my children's events because works in the way, but oh well single or not this is the real world, and if you don't like your job or the hours that are needed to do it and what's expected of you, there is an easy solution, QUIT.

Clearly, people on both ends of the spectrum feel like they're getting the short end of the stick.  
 
Interesting.

This is an interesting topic. I have a fairly demanding job that requires quite a few nights and weekends of me, but usually we don't know until last minute. For over five years I have actively volunteered to take every night and weekend shift that I possibly can and have volunteered to be on call for the past five christmas's and New Years so the employees with families can enjoy this time uninterrupted. I think it's only fair as I'm a younger employee without a family and should "pay my dues" and have respect for the ones that have a family and have put in their time before I started with the company. I also really enjoy my chosen job/career and while yes it does suck to have to work or be on call every long weekend and holiday that hopefully when it's my time to have a family that my coworkers will respect how hard I've worked in the past to help them out and we can work together as a team to set up a rotation that works as best as possible. It won't always be fair and I will still likely volunteer to take extra weekends and holidays but I also really like my job and coworkers. To each their own I suppose!

When I worked out of the home, I always got the " can I switch shifts with you cuz my little snowflake has a recital, tourney, sports game, sleepover, lost her first tooth (yes that was a reason!!) blah, blah,blah" I would switch if I could just to be nice but I never felt guilty saying no if I couldn't. Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have a life and want to work all the crappy hours. I still have family, just no kids!! I took offence to coworkers who thought unless you had kids, you didn't have family.  
 
It sounds mean but the reality is that if you have kids and work, you ARE going to miss out on things. You chose to do both and will have to figure out a way to handle that. Those of us who chose not to have kids and to work shouldn't have to lose out on our personal time to compensate for coworkers who are parents  
 
My favourite was Xmas when some coworkers would say "single people should work that day because they don't have kids!"....right,cuz spending time on Xmas day with my whole family doesn't count because I'm not bringing kids of my own....lol. Then there were the parents who wanted to work just to get out of seeing the in-laws lmao!!

about kids....time off....being a single....where does it end?  
My husband was in a specialized trade in the military, he was gone for 6 and 9 months at a time more often then not. You take care of your kids, you have a sitter, you work, you cook, you clean.....you do whatever you have to do and you never let your children feel like they are a burden to you.  
Just be happy you have children and a job....many people get neither!  
As for the workplace....you can always say no with a valid explanation.  
 
As for singles getting all the good shifts, they probably never said no when they were called.

This is something we see a lot in my work too. If they need someone to stay for overtime, everyone with kids is immediately exempt from having to stay and everyone who is married is very much less likely to than those that are single.

If you don't like working weekends, don't get a job where you have to work weekends. If you don't like working nights, don't get a job with shift work. It shouldn't matter if you have kids or are single. Everyone should do their fair share and come to work. You chose the job so you shouldn't feel outraged that you're required to work the shifts required. May sound harsh but I don't think anyone is more entitled than the other.

I can't agree more, I have been on both ends of the spectrum, and agree with both sides but like you say don't take a job that doesn't suit you, with that being said if your a new to a company.... regardless if you worked in that field in years gone by, single or married it don't matter if you've just started, guess what there is only one place for you to start, and it ain't at the top, so since your not at the top than you don't get to pick an choose your shifts, tough beans, sucks to be new. It's not about experience it's about seniority.