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Hi all,  
 
I was wondering why is it hard accept the fact that some people keep themselves for marriage. It is even harder to find someone who has the same values on virginity.  
 
I’m over 26 yeas old virgin male by choice. I’m not socially awkward and have lot’s for friends. But ya, I’m keeping sex for the right person and it has to be within marriage.  
 
So, how do you feel about keeping yourself for marriage?  
 
Cheers  
 
AJ

this a religious choice

While I think saving yourself is much less common than it used to be, I think it is a valid choice for some people. Like most things to do with sexuality, I tend to view the topic for private conversation instead of public forum but each to their own. As for why you are making this choice. It should not matter to anyone except to you. Be comfortable with your choices, be accepting of other's choices and don't worry too much about those that will challenge you.

I think whatever your choice is, all that matters is that you are happy with it. I wouldn’t judge anybody for saving them self for marriage or a loving partner or a one night stand. None of those define you as a person.

Whether it is or isn't isn't the topic...so don't go there. There is no reason for you to know that additional information. There are many other valid reasons for choosing to do so.  
 
To the OP:  
I read, maybe 6 months ago, that this choice is becoming more the norm than the exception for various valid reasons. It might not seem like it sometimes to those who are waiting, though.  
 
Many do choose this path. I know many who did and are choosing this for various reasons. They just generally don't advertise it, but save it for discussion with someone they want to be serious with. Continue to stay your path. It is a good choice and one that I chose years ago in spite of immature ridicule. Ridicule shows that person's lack of self confidence and self worth. They no longer have what you do, so they resort to bullying tactics and pressure.  
 
There is nothing better than to give that gift to your special someone on your honeymoon. It is something that once given, is never the same pure gift again. It is the ultimate gift you can give. I have read about lengthy studies that concluded, and have observed that those who wait generally have more solid and happier lasting marriages.  
 
Be proud of your choice.  
 
Pm'd you  
 
Edited by Flutterby, 2019-05-21 21:09:43

Your not missing much & you can live with out it as you have proven keep doing what your doing .

Personally, I don't see the point in holding out for marriage

Life is short.  
It is your life however.  
 
While I don't think its impossible or even unreasonable to want to "save yourself". There are no guarantees the person you're holding out for is going to be "the one" and you could waste 20-30 more years never experiencing something that a lot of people refuse to see as "normal" and that is "coitus" of course. - Just my opinion and its worth about 2 cents.  
 
Your time on earth is short and temporary.  
So enjoy it how YOU see fit.

Saving yourself for the right person is your choice, however, if your future wife isn't a virgin or doesn't tell you that she is then it will meaningless.  
 
Hopefully you find someone that is a virgin as well.

I commend you for your choice. It's not something simple to do with all the pressure and curiosity that surrounds it.  
 
My concern with this choice is what if you never get married? I never got married. It's very common to never marry. Had I waited till marriage I would still be waiting.  
 
Also what if you do marry and she is terrible at it? I have read lots of forums where people's partners are just not good and their sex life is disappointing.  
 
Once again, I commend you for your decision. Its a personal choice that everyone needs to make for themself. Good luck.

Your name isn't Chris by any chance?

I think your doing it wrong then...

You know you are marrying the right person and then learn after 10-30 years of marriage that you made a mistake with who you married? What if they disrespect you, are physically, mentally and verbally violent? Will you regret saving it for someone who turned to be not the person you fell in love with and married and be resentful for your choice? Interesting discussion that is for sure!!

I too am a male virgin. It's something you can be proud of.

At the risk of sounding jaded, if a penis that has never penetrated a vagina/vagina never been penetrated by a penis is literally the greatest gift one can bestow upon their partner, then in my humble opinion, the value of that gift is grossly over rated. Furthermore, what happens if one never meets their true love until they are in their sixties? seventies? Many women simply are no longer interested in sex by then. You would have spent all your life "saving your gift" and for what???

It almost seems that some people think that sex is like food... you can't live without it. Do you truly believe that those who are virgins to the end of their life, have somehow missed out at the experiences of life? That would be a sad life to live. Life is more than sex, and so are relationships. Being a virgin is a great gift. I mean who wants to know that their best man and half his buddies slept with his wife before him or vice versa.

First of all I don't begrudge anyone for the choices they make. If that's your cup of tea, more power to you. I do, however find it kind of odd to be proud of having never done something. And the whole talk about remaining "pure" gives a connotation that sex is a shameful dirty thing. So a woman who has had sex is not as valuable as a mate? And "giving" your virginity to someone - as though it is some kind of tangible thing. Odd. I think valuing virginity was an ancient male invention to ensure paternity.

To each their own, but I thank goodness I didn’t save myself for marriage or I would have been married to someone and totally unsatisfied physically, had I not experienced that side of our relationship beforehand. Sexual compatibility is a very important part of a long term relationship.

I agree, you don't buy a car without test driving it do you?

In my first marriage (and without realizing it) my wife and I had sex. Now that I'm in a new relationship, what I'm experiencing is LOVE! Intercourse between two people is just sex without love...virgins or not.