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not taken seriously (relationship)

not taken seriously (relationship)

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

not taken seriously (relationship)
5/11/2016 at 2:36 PM

My gf will not move on from her ex. He treated her terrible and yet she cares more about what he and his family think than what I do. She's willing to lend things I bought to his family without a thought of what I would think about it. She says she loves me but I'm honestly starting to doubt it. We have looked at homes to buy but I'm putting a stop to that as I don't feel comfortable doing this anymore. What I'm looking for on here I guess is the proper way to approach this as expressing my feelings is something which I'm uncomfortable/not very good at.
Edited by admin, 2016-05-11 14:45:37. Reason: Title
foxtrot11
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2688

foxtrot11
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2688

Why Say anything
5/11/2016 at 2:38 PM

Just RUN.

She is clearly delusional and attached to the old family and that will never change. I would just go.
Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

..
5/11/2016 at 2:46 PM

As much as I hate the thought I'm starting to think you are right. She says she hates the thought of people not liking her but yet has no concern of my thoughts/feelings.
Summergal15
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 122

Summergal15
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 122

take a break
5/11/2016 at 4:24 PM

Don't let her take advantage of you. Get up the courage to tell her what your feelings are and tell her you need a break. If it is your place, she needs to leave, if you moved in with her, line up a place to go after you talk so you can say your piece and not have to stick around.
Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

taken care of.
5/11/2016 at 5:08 PM

Had a nice long talk with her today. Things are looking up. Expressing myself has seemed to help as she didn't know the extent this was bothering me. Looking forward to a future with her and her wonderful son. Thanks for the help everyone!
whatthewhat
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 297

whatthewhat
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 297

I can relate
5/15/2016 at 12:12 PM

glad to read things are looking up for you - I too had a boyfriend who thought more about his family/neighbor lady than me - its sad how someone we love can disrespect us so much - but once I feel neglected, and disrespected, I know I can't stand it anymore - Glad you are working this out. All I asked for was for a Trellis to be built between the two yards, yet its not to be - so I am away . . .
BrandonLover
Joined: This month
Posts: 32

BrandonLover
Joined: This month
Posts: 32

Rebound?
5/28/2016 at 2:51 PM

How long ago was it that she left her ex? Because it sounds to me like you might be a rebound boyfriend.
Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

you were right book
5/29/2016 at 5:19 PM

Things just ended. I give up on dating for now.
BrandonLover
Joined: This month
Posts: 32

BrandonLover
Joined: This month
Posts: 32

Sorry to hear that
5/29/2016 at 6:45 PM

Pops1 said "Things just ended. I give up on dating for now. "

Sorry to hear that, mate. If you need to talk to anyone, do PM me.
Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Thx Book
5/29/2016 at 7:35 PM

I appreciate the offer. Very kind of you. No clue how to pm on my iPhone but if I need to talk I'll figure it out and send a message for sure
plus zero
Joined: This month
Posts: 1236

plus zero
Joined: This month
Posts: 1236

someone
5/30/2016 at 4:46 AM

Pops1 said "As much as I hate the thought I'm starting to think you are right. She says she hates the thought of people not liking her but yet has no concern of my thoughts/feelings. "

that has no concerns or feelings mean run away. They use people
Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

yes they do
5/30/2016 at 5:51 AM

She also drank too much and forgot that she shouldn't flirt with others when drunk. It was a shock and a waste of a half of a year. It hurts but I guess it's live and learn, right? That's what I tell myself anyway.
cdnchk64

Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 96

cdnchk64
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 96

better now
5/30/2016 at 9:25 AM

hey don't worry and things will always get better with time. It's much better to find all this out now than purchase high ticket items together esp when you say she is not mature enough to handle her booze. Don't consider it a waste of only half a year? That's short by many standards. Some don't find this stuff out for years then its too late and lawyers have to be involved.Don't stop dating as you say you will. Go out have fun, meet new people, you don't have to be serious right off the get go with them. You may let the right one slip by or you may end up with a dud again...That's life.
TulgeyWood
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 165

TulgeyWood
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 165

agree with karen
5/30/2016 at 9:41 AM

You successfully found who you won't be spending your life with, and in reality are a step closer to that special someone. You learned a little about yourself and a little about the world in the process. Keep that chin up, and go have some fun
Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

no use
5/30/2016 at 8:29 PM

Dating just doesn't seem worth it at the moment. Too many bad experiences with too many wrong women. Think the bad ones beat a fella down too much
Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

worst
5/31/2016 at 6:45 AM

Worst part of this is I miss her son. We had lots of fun together and grew close the last six+ months. He is an amazing little man and it really sucks that I no longer get to be in his life. I hate relationships!!

whatthewhat
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 297

whatthewhat

Joined: Mar 2016

Posts: 297

yep

5/31/2016 at 3:00 PM

Pops1 said "Worst part of this is I miss her son. We had lots of fun together and grew close the last six+ months. He is an amazing little man and it really sucks that I no longer get to be in his life. I hate relationships!! "

me too . . . it's solitude for me from here on in. Just sick of the crap out there - crappers crapping all over the place. Who needs that??? Not I!!!

Edited by whatthewhat, 2016-05-31 15:12:03

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

need help
6/18/2016 at 9:49 AM

I still can't get over losing her. I'm getting really depressed, not sleeping at all. Only my son makes me smile. She is all I think about. I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do
LillyPad
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 14

LillyPad
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 14

It's hard
6/18/2016 at 10:49 AM

If your son is the only thing that makes you smile - spend as much time as possible with him. I just got out of a three year relationship. I know how hard it can be. If you want to talk pm me.
..
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 109

..
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 109

Pops1
6/18/2016 at 9:13 PM

If you miss he son so much, why did you have such a hard time accepting his family? He cannot choose his family, sounds like gf was doing her best to keep that connection, I agree she could do more but bieng jealous, selfish and controlling will be deal breaker for any mother, shows insecurity and immaturity she needs someone to be there for her and her son. You had someone who wanted to be with you ,
Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

Pops1
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 25

..
6/19/2016 at 7:16 AM

Read things again. I was all for the family being involved with her child. That's the way it should be. She didn't want to be with me. I was a rebound. And to be honest she has a daughter not a son who I still adore. She's on here a lot so I changed that one and only one thing so she wouldn't figure out it was me until I found a way to communicate my feelings. Which didn't help anyway.