Discussions

so im 33 male and just recently seperated that will eventually end with divorce. My ex has already moved on and has another BF. I am very shy and not very social but trying to be. I want to meet a nice girl that likes me for me and that I can just have a nice conversation with and have some laughs. Im not looking for FWB or hookups, I want a relationship. Friends at first and see where it leads I guess. Im so not good at this lol ive tried POF and its not what im looking for. Ive done the bar a few times and it just leads to regretful choices. so any suggestions would be great or any single ladies that want to chat or meet up message me

Of all sorry to hear your marriage has ended.  
 
Your best bet is to stop looking and focus on you. Do the things to make yourself feel better. Get out and about, carry on with life and before you know it someone with similar interests may come your way.  
 
But...Why is it so important to find someone? There is nothing wrong with being single. I wish others could see this.

Happy Hour: I am focusing on me a bit but it would be nice to have someone in my life, idk guess i dont like being alone  
 
one more thing: tinder is not for me, i dont tan or like the idea of that, and unforatantly bad genitics,lol, left me with no possible f**k boy haicut. but thanks for those suggestions, the gym one is one i will do however.

Sorry to hear about your split... divorce sucks... Yes focusing on yourself is a great thing and a must after a break up of any kind but yes... I agree getting out and meeting ppl even just for friends and see what happens is also a great thing, keeps the mind busy and heart hopeful and not so much sitting around dwelling on the past. Dating sites are tough... I say if you see something you like strike up a conversation... I mean that's how our parents did it... my dads line was the cheesiest to say the least but it worked and they've been married for well over 30 years. Good luck!

Unfortunately most of my friends are married with children and being recently separated and finding a friend during these times can prove to be quite difficult. Everyone says to focus on yourself (I don't think people understand not everyone loses their focus during these times). There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Are you familiar with ebrandon? There is a discussion that has Saturday meet ups. I've never been to one myself yet but it might be a great way to get out and meet new friends.

sorry life threw a stumbling block under your feet but you just got separated and already looking for new 'trouble'? Make sure you're not looking just for a rebound.  
I've been in your shoes many years ago, had a tough time coping with the single life. I also tried the online dating thing myself but nothing came of it.  
As others already said, concentrate your energy and time on yourself and be 'selfish'. You got the time now! Hit the gym, find physical and mental strength and maybe pick up a new hobby you never had time for before. Bet'ya your Ex's friends don't know you anymore. Replace them with new friends - not necessarily female friends.  
EBrandon's Saturday Meetups might be another option to fill the void spending time with company/friends. I considered participating myself but can't find the time to do so.  
Other than that, chill, rebuilt and enjoy your life being single. You can get used to it.

thanks for the responses. I did do the saturday meet up and it was a lot of fun and I hope i can make the next one on the 5th, if you guys like you should come. good conversation and good people all around a blast. I think its at the Dock on the 5th at 7pm ill have to confirm. im really hoping to make a few extra friends now, maybe see where that leads and I will focus on me and my boys of course. thanks again for your responses

Sorry to hear about the big D. Sorry, but not surprised. A good percentage of women have dudes on the back burner ready to step in if things go south.  
 
I would suggest not passing up opportunities to socialize- even if you don't feel like going at the time.  
 
And...learn how to get yourself in a talkative mood. (Even if you are 'shy')

It can be done. There is a Brandon chapter of Toastmasters International, that found by Googling.