Discussions

The following suggestions are offered to balance out all the information on Swine Flu... its all about BALANCE.  
 
I went to a dinner party last Friday night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol.  
 
I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms, headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, and the like.  
 
From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu.  
 
This debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears mine is not an isolated case.  
 
Reports are flooding in from all around the province of others diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the afore mentioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down.  
 
However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately rent a DVD and take some Nurofen (Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu).  
 
Others are reporting that in some cases a McDonald's or a Full English Breakfast can also help.  
If not, then further consumption of the original liquid, in similar quantities to the original dose, has been shown to do the trick.  
 
Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period.  
 
FOOTNOTE  
 
If you find you are complaining a lot, it may be that it has mutated into  
Whine Flu.  
 
This is particularly common in men and can quickly spread to their partners where the symptoms manifest as a serious case of eye-rolling.