Discussions

Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.  
 
Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back. It's more like splat!  
 
Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.  
 
Midlife is when you go for a mammogram and you realize it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless in a film.  
 
Midlife brings the wisdom that life throws you curves and that you're now sitting on your biggest ones.  
 
Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For this I have stretch marks?"  
 
Midlife is when your memory really starts to go: the only thing you still retain is water.  
 
The good news about midlife is that the glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.  
 
You know you've crossed the midlife threshold when you're in the grocery store and you hear a Muzak version of "Stairway to Heaven" in the produce department.  
 
Midlife is when your 1970's Body-by-Jake now includes Legs-by-Rand McNally (more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of the province of Ontario).  
 
You become more reflective in midlife. You start pondering the "big" questions: what is life, why am I here and how much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice.  
 
*sigh* welcome to Midlife