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OMG!! I don't think I have ever been as embarrassed as I am right now just saying those words. I also don't think I have ever been in as much pain or as uncomfortable as I am right now either.  
So can someone please tell me about them. What can cause them, how to get rid of them how long it takes etc.

Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, its a medical condition just like any other. I can't speak from experience, but the wikipedia page on it should have all the information your looking for.  
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemorrhoid

applications of Prep H (buy new tube) several times a day will do wonders! Keep clean as possible too.

The only thing that helped when I got them was put a few inches of hot water in the tub and sit and soak. As hot as you can stand.

When soaking in the hot water use Epson Salts too! Then apply Prep H or whatever. Epson Salts are an amazing self healing thing!

Stay Positive said "When soaking in the hot water use Epson Salts too! Then apply Prep H or whatever. Epson Salts are an amazing self healing thing! "

Works in the bath as well.  
 
There are also PrepH wipes - though I am not entirely certain I have seen them in Canada.  
 
Nothing to be embarrassed about for sure. Most people who have had a child have been blessed with them too....  
 
To answer your question they basically swollen blood vessels. They can be caused by constipation (causing your to strain too hard), or the opposite issue (diarrhea) They can be caused by sitting too much and not exercising. When you push a child out of the birth canal they can become compacted and swell too. They can form inside or outside. Obviously the outside ones are easier to deal with they are the ones most helped by soaking. My grandma swore you could get hemorrhoids by sitting on a cold surface outside too....who knows.  
 
You may or may not be able to control them with Prep H and change in diet - many people have to have surgery if they get too big or bleed a lot. That must suck...  
 
Not to be confused with FISSURES though. If you cannot feel a bump with swelling, it is more likely a fissure. Those are just tears in the skin around the anus. Those can be a little tougher to deal with as they are an open wound.  
 
Either way, take care.

you see your regular doctor, you can get a referral to a specialist here in Brandon. The specialist will band them and they will go away. All the other treatments will only temporarily reduce the size and discomfort of the hemorrhoids. A few causes of hemorrhoids are pregnancy and constipation (leading to straining on the toilet).

nothing to be embarrassed about, and the hot baths really help. Also, instead of prep H, try a cream that has some topical anesthetic, ask your pharmacist. (Believe me they have heard it all, too.) If it is really bad, go to the doc, there are prescription creams, and some docs will even freeze, then lance the hemorrhoid-this causes it to collapse. While your 'roids are acute, get stool softeners from the drugstore as well, and concentrate on a "soft", low fiber diet, so that your bowel movements are easy. Sit "sideways" on the toilet-there is less stress on the 'roids that way. Once you are no longer acute, increase the fiber as much as you are able so you spend less time pushing your BMs out. Also, DO NOT use the toilet as a reading room. The prolonged sitting puts undue pressure on the blood vessels in the "nether regions". Good Luck!  

Apple cider vinegar, I have been lucky and have never had hemmiroids but have had people tell me that it works, and no you don't drink it.

But someone I know swears by tea tree oil

Temporary relief use penatin cream found in the baby aisle.

Apply witch hazel to the area as often as possible and it will help to tighten the skin. You can get witch hazel in a bottle and just apply it to a cotton pad or you can also get wipes.  
 
If it doesn't go away in a couple of weeks get a doctor to look at it.

Here's what you do when you have a flare up,  
 
First you need to look at your intake, up your water and cut out anything that isn't water mostly sugary drinks.  
If you aren't getting enough fiber you need to up that as well, apples and oranges work best but also grapes and most other fruits and veggies are good too, those three are my go to though. More soups and salads, less meats and carbs. If you're craving crunch try nuts.  
Do not over do it, ingesting too much fiber can give you the runs which can make it worse, just aim for your 3-5 servings a day.  
Stay away from junk food and breads. If you have to eat breads move to whole wheat or flax et al. I like whole wheat, but I actually prefer tortilla wraps now.  
Try cereals for breakfast, especially things like shreddies or raisin bran.  
Limit time on the pot, if you take your phone or book in, leave it out. Don't strain, Don't wipe excessively. Exercise more often, a more active lifestyle helps your body in more ways than one, it can promote proper digestion and operation of your bowels. To relieve itch, hot baths, the hotter the better, clean but don't use soaps which can cause more irritation.  

Since having babies 20+ years ago. For the most part they were external ones. In the last ten years I had two bouts of internal ones. I tried Preparation H(never worked for me), then Anusol Plus suppositories and cream as well as the Personal Cleansing Pads which you can get in Canada, store in fridge and put a nice cool pad on your bottom to help relieve some discomfort. I also used Xyclocaine topical freezing to help numb it somewhat. The doctor also prescribed some other suppositories that also seemed to help: I just don't remember the name. I had to have hemorrhoidectomies (surgical removal) for the two bouts of internal hemorrhoids. First time my physician sent me to ER where the surgeon froze and then lanced the hemorrhoid. This did not work and I ended up a few days later having surgery for removal by another surgeon. A few years after that I got them again and once again had them lanced, did not work and had to have surgery again. Touch wood so far so good. I do however take stool softeners on a daily basis and every now and again need the Anusol suppositories. Recommendations: Anusol (or prescription) suppositories, Xylocaine topical freezing (ask the pharmacist: you don't need a prescription), cleansing pads, an inflatable donut to sit on when you aren't able to lay down and stay off your bottom. When having a bowel movement try not to strain. I hope this helps.

...how long before you could resume your normal daily life, ie; work, etc.?  
Was there much discomfort for a while after?  
 
Yup, you guessed it; I suffer from rectal speedbumps, too...

Was approximately a couple weeks of trying to just lay down, not sit, and after that using a donut when sitting until you felt healed. After surgery having the first few bowel movements were quite painful but for the most part the pain and discomfort was nothing compared to the presurgery hemorrhoid pain.

Soak your hinder in a warm/hot bath with a cup or so of baking soda mixed in; you can add Epsom Salts or even regular table salt if you like. This'll usually give an hour or two of relief. Aside from OTC ointments, there are a number of prescription meds that help heal and/or numb the pain.