Discussions

I was in a public restroom a while back and a lady came out of the stall, rinsed her fingers for maybe 2 seconds and was about to leave. A little girl (maybe 4 or 5) was in there with her mom and said "Hey, you didn't use the soap!!!" The lady looked mortified and went back to actually wash her hands while the girl's mom scurried out with her. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing.  
 
What's the funniest/most embarrassing thing(s) your kids have said? Or that you've heard from other kids?

Although I've heard the other extreme, "son wash your hands" , to which there was this reply,"but daddy, I didnt pee on my hands". Sometimes things are just so hard to argue.

using whole mustard seeds and celery seeds. I showed my grand daughter, who was 3 at the time, the jar of pickles and asked if she wanted some. She said,"no grandma. There's bugs in them!!

On a long road trip, my then six year old step-son gazed out the window at a field of cows and sighed, “I wish I had cow eyes”.

Once, my child stuck her head/chin up on the back of the seat so we couldn't see her neck/body and said, "Look, I'm a decaffeinated head!"

One of ours stated one day..."First, I lose my baby teeth, then I get grown up teeth, then I get plastic teeth like grandma!"

Shopping at Sobeys, my son is watching the lobsters. He was memorized. When it was time to leave I had to pull him away from the lobster tank. It was a beautiful summer day! We walked home and my son was a little thrown off after watching the lobsters. When we arrived home I put away the groceries and went to go sit. My son all of a sudden threw himself on the floor screaming 'WHY??? Why can't I be a lobster, but no mommy you gave me these!!! (looking at his hands), I can't pinch people cause of THESE!'  
I have never tried not to laugh so hard!, it was hilarious to think my son was devastated he was NOT a lobster!!!

He said he had to go to the bathroom and asked me to help. I followed him in and he asked me to put up the toilet seat for him, so I did. Then he jutted his body out very far forward so he could reach to pee while standing and had his hands on his hips. Afterwards I put the seat down and told him to wash his hands and he said but I didn’t touch the toilet or my penis so I don’t have to, but you have to! Hard to argue with that lol.

I have been recording little quips from my kids since they learned to talk (they are both almost teens now). I bought a book at Coles for recording these kinds of things and have kept it up faithfully. One day, my son was looking through it and said, "No offense, mom, but can I have this when you die?"  
 
Mission accomplished. Memories preserved.