Discussions

Having a rough go with 16 yo daughter. She has everything a kid her age could want. Gets to travel lots and go places, camp every weekend, go to concerts etc. and yet she says she's having a boring summer....she does struggle socially and doesn't have a lot of friends and like any teen spends way too much time on her phone playing games etc. Just trying to figure out what I'm doing or need to do as a parent to help her get out and be a normal kid, not one who sits in her bedroom by herself all the time. No she's not a spoiled brat either before anyone decides to go that route. We live in a small town so a little harder to just walk out the door and do stuff but still lots to do if you look for it.

I think what your are describing is normal. I have gone thru this with mine and it is frustrating. I found that trying too hard on my end to get them more involved in activities made it even worst. Hopefully it doesn't last too long, by that I mean by years. lol

Here's two articles I recently stumbled across that might glean some insight? I think they're geared more for younger kids, but probably would transition to teens are well.  
 
Also, I'm not sure why boredom is a bad thing. Take away the phone (or at least, limit it) and see what happens.  
 
<:A target="_blank" HREF="http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/overscheduled-child-may-lead-to-bored-teen">:http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/overscheduled-child-may-lead-to-bored-teen<:/A>:  
 
<:A target="_blank" HREF="http://www.brainchildmag.com/2015/06/unsolicited-child-training-tip-1-benign-neglect/#">:http://www.brainchildmag.com/2015/06/unsolicited-child-training-tip-1-benign-neglect/#<:/A>:  
 
Just wanted to add that there's a hack thing going around right now too that gives suggestions on things your kid should do to "earn" screen time... read a book for 30 min, paint a picture, write 2 pages of a story, that sort of stuff. Would that be applicable here for "ideas" to get her doing stuff?  
 
Edited by Abbysmum, 2015-07-08 09:37:15

Can she get a summer job or do some volunteering? I don't remember ever being bored as a teenager...

Sitting in her room I normal teenage behavior, as is complaining lol. But yes id suggest a summer job. Maybe you could arrange for a cousin etc of hers to come hang out for the week or send her to visit family members. I spent my teen years in a rural area so that's what my mom would do with me when I wasn't working. I had a blast.

I had two part-time jobs (saving for car) in the summer at that age besides a week that my parents sent me to camp!  
I never said I was bored and still had lots of time to go hang out with friends/family in the evenings etc.

to get a job here in our small town as there's just nothing available for her and same with volunteering and unfortunately we don't have the time due to our work schedules to get her anywhere.

A job or chores around the house. :p Obviously she wont like either. But perhaps she will then learn herself how to find fun things to occupy her time. We cant always have someone or something to stimulate us.

revpen said "to get a job here in our small town as there's just nothing available for her and same with volunteering and unfortunately we don't have the time due to our work schedules to get her anywhere. "

That was my first thought. Raised in a small town with all family run businesses. I read a LOT of books.Still do.

Does she have any hobbies or other interests she could get more involved in?

Are there any summer camps she could attend? That would help her make new friends.  
How about babysitting? There always seems to be a need for that in most areas.

I also grew up in a small town with a single parent who worked shift work at a factory, but I worked right from the time I was 14. I never didn't have a job even during the school year in high school. I'm not sure why living in a small town is an excuse for your teenager to not get a job. I'm sure there's SOMETHING they could find to make their own money and occupy their time. Sounds like with your work schedule you manage to get her to concerts, travelling to places, camping, etc. so I'm sure somehow you could get her to work as well. Or instead.  
 
Edited by PugMom*, 2015-07-09 09:01:09

revpen said "to get a job here in our small town as there's just nothing available for her and same with volunteering and unfortunately we don't have the time due to our work schedules to get her anywhere. "

would it be possible to get some part time work helping out on a farm?  
 
I have a 15 yr old who sounds a lot like your child. It's tough to balance screen time with me nagging her to get off the phone but that's kids for you.  
 
Good luck.  
 
Marpet

Get her into horses!  
 
I've never had a boring summer! Whether its just for fun or she wants to compete it'll keep her active both physically and mentally.  
 
I know an amazing lady in shilo area who will teach her everything she needs to know to ride safe and smart!  
 
PM me if you think shed be interested in it!  
 

doing this stuff by herself? Everything can seem boring if all you want is someone to do things with. I don't know your life but if hers is anything like mine was....I also had anything I wanted but struggled with depression so nothing seemed fun. Also struggling with depression as a teen usually means you struggle socially...or it did for me anyways, just something to think about.

I was a teenager not long ago and i to had anything I could ever want. I seemed to be always bored and sitting in my room on my phone. this is normal teenage behavior. teens get bored of being in one place all the time, even living in brandon i was tired of doing the same things all the time. i passed the time by being at the lake all summer as well as maintaining a job which then kept me busy!

in the 30s or 40s if they were ever bored in their teens. I bet they would have quite the stories to tell.

A teen can have everything they want, but are maybe lacking directed focus. Has daughter ever worked any part-time jobs? Is your town big enough that it has a grocery store, gas station, businesses or a restaurant?  
 
Dog walking, pet sitting, bagging groceries, mowing lawns, studying for driver's license, pumping gas, painting and redecorating bedroom, offer to help with housework, cook dinner, wash windows, weed garden, scrapbooking, go for walks and bike rides, make beaded jewellery, learn to sew, knit, fix engines, detail local vehicles for $$, bake, read, start a small business with a passionate hobby, work on a farm, etc.  
 
Getting out of that room and outside, limiting computer or phone/tablet time to evenings only and having a good, healthy chore a day or working to earn money if that's available.  
 
Summer days should fly by for a teenager without a technology crutch. I hope your dd can find an outside focus!

I don't think so. Life is meant to be lived. Get off the phone and computer and go find out who you are and what you want to be.

to your long distance family in another town or city or country.  
This is summer time, best time to travel and enjoy beautiful nature.  
Or better still ask her what she will prefer from all the suggestions nice people are giving here. Because sometimes is difficulty to figure out personal interest.  
Good luck

My question is why does she not have a summer job?  
 
Her behavior is normal for a teen but she needs to get a job to earn some experience.

for all the suggestions and yes the job idea is one I've tried to steer to as well although it can also bring on some anxiety when she sends applications all over and gets no response. Anyhow, try, try again and you shall succeed!