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I am wondering if I can start the legal process to obtain child support while I am still pregnant. I realize I won''t be entitled to any payments until the child is born but can I start the process now or do I have to wait. The father has made no mention of his intentions to support our child and doesn''t seem like he will even participate financially in the preparations for our baby''s arrival either. Also looking for any legal advice on how to proceed with this manner.  
 
Edited by (:, 2016-05-20 17:44:33

So instead of talking, you are running to a lawyer?! Women like you give the women who handle this situation proper a wrong name. Makes you sound money hungry. Talk to the guy before you try and make his life hell. Not all guys are golden but the majority of us are great dads who care about their children and want to help out as much as we financially can.

Now that the news has had some time to sink in, talk to the father about what he wants to do about the life he has created.  
 
He has rights to be a part of the child`s life and the child has a right to know the father. What are his views regarding these concepts?

How everyone is so quick to drop judgement. I have tried to initiate conversation about this topic with the father and have had no response. As for being money hungry? Who walks out on their pregnant partner? Takes a special kind of stupid to do something like that. I am not opposed to the father being involved but if all my efforts are being ignored then I will resort to the legal route.  
 
eBrandon members have once again shown that they can voice their discriminating opinions behind the safety and anonymity of their keyboards.  
 
If all you have to share is your negative opinion then please do so on another discussion.  
 
Edited by (:, 2016-05-20 22:16:43

Agree with pops1, try having a conversation with the guy? It's not just about the money and there was two of you that made the baby. And without proof of paternity no judge will award child support anyways. Just wow...

And it is an open forum, and you take the good, bad..ugly truth and possible flack for posting loaded and heated topics like this one. I'm a single mom myself and the connection with their father far outweighed the financial. Even though it's deserved for the child. People grow apart, shit happens, doesn't mean the guy was stupid for walking. Maybe he knows his capabilities, it's not always a black and white situation

you may have to pay for a paternity test, but if it come up positive its his, then he has to re emburse you the cost.

It won't hurt to start now and get advice from a lawyer. You may have to wait until the baby is born if the father questions if it's his. But finding out what to expect and what both of your rights are won't hurt now.  
 
My child is almost 8 and I still haven't gone for child support. He knows he's the father and hasn't ever made an attempt to be in her life. I sometimes wonder if I should have just looked into it when I was pregnant.  
 
Do what you feel is best for your baby!

(: said "How everyone is so quick to drop judgement. I have tried to initiate conversation about this topic with the father and have had no response. As for being money hungry? Who walks out on their pregnant partner? Takes a special kind of stupid to do something like that. I am not opposed to the father being involved but if all my efforts are being ignored then I will resort to the legal route.     eBrandon members have once again shown that they can voice their discriminating opinions behind the safety and anonymity of their keyboards.     If all you have to share is your negative opinion then please do so on another discussion.     Edited by (:, 2016-05-20 22:16:43"

You talk of "behind the safety and anonymity of their keyboards" yet you list your name as " (: " You ask "Who walks out on their pregnant partner?" So therefore I ask "what unwed person sleeps with a man of the character you speak of and doesn't use protection?" Were you trying to trap him? Did you not think of a child being fatherless?  
 
I am not judging you by any means, just that you have not mentioned the entire story, and are obviously making it sound like the guy, once again, is always at fault, and the woman is always the saint.

Talk to a lawyer. They will be able to provide you with answers. Most lawyers will give you a free 15 minute consultation.  
 
My guess would be that the process can't start until the baby is born as it's not a person under Canadian law until it's born. You can't usually start legal proceedings on the basis of what *may* happen.

Usually the father will have to pay for the paternity test if he denies it's his, I'm pretty sure. The username on here named IMO has dealt with this very thing, so maybe send him a message and he can likely answer a bunch of questions

(: said "How everyone is so quick to drop judgement. I have tried to initiate conversation about this topic with the father and have had no response. As for being money hungry? Who walks out on their pregnant partner? Takes a special kind of stupid to do something like that. I am not opposed to the father being involved but if all my efforts are being ignored then I will resort to the legal route.     eBrandon members have once again shown that they can voice their discriminating opinions behind the safety and anonymity of their keyboards.     If all you have to share is your negative opinion then please do so on another discussion.     Edited by (:, 2016-05-20 22:16:43"

How stable was the relationship when you got pregnant? If you are only pregnant now and he walked, could not have been very stable. Did you discuss having a baby together? Makes on wonder?

What others opinions of your situation is, it takes 2 to create a life, and both parents are equally responsible for that child.  
 
You may want to meet with lawyers who offer a free consultation, but personally I dont think you want to get the process started until after baby is born. You need to remember that as soon as you find a lawyer and get the process started...you start being billed for any legal work.

he may request DNA to see if the child is his. That won't happen till the baby is born. It will also prolong the process.

Honestly I can say I am appalled at the people on this site, not surprising tho. As someone who has gone through this myself I have a few replies of my own..  
 
NO~ I did not sleep with said man with the intentions of trapping him. At the time we conceived my son we were in a committed relationship. It had never crossed my mind that had we gotten pregnant he would walk out the day I told him. PS.. Contraception is NOT fail proof.  
 
Once he walked out... Conversations (which were few and far between) were initiated by myself on all but one occasion. Even if he had said .. 'yeah I'll pay and be apart of your lives' .. Words are just that.  
 
Go consult your lawyer and get the ball rolling! It may take many months if you wait to start until baby arrives and you will need the support as soon as baby gets here as there are unexpected costs that come up that no ones seems to think of ahead of time. (As we are human!)  
If he claims he is not the father you and baby will possibly be put through blood typing which is a waste of time in my opinion as it really proves nothing.  
 
However even if you spend 1000's of dollars to get awarded child support you can not get blood from a stone. If he doesn't want to pay.. He won't... And maintenance enforcement is kind of a joke.. Unless you have all the information of the payer..(address , place of employment, where they bank, etc.. And in my case this information changed almost on a daily basis as he did not want to pay.)  
 
Good Luck sweetie! You will need all you can get!

Another route would be the paternal grandparents and their opinion on the situation.  
 
If they are in the picture, are they interested in being a part of the child's life? Are they able to tell their son to smarten up or would they side with him against you? Are there other relatives that would be there to help until the father matures?  
 
Are the grandparents in a position to help with childcare while you work?  
 
The legal system had a Monday morning "cattle call" where lawyers presented ten-minute cases and temporary decisions were made. You could trigger child support on the Monday following the birth of your child.

After reading some replies to this post I have a few words as I'm in the same boat...  
 
I have a wonderful 14 month old son, his biological father decided 3 months into the pregnancy to walk away from us. We were never in a relationship but we were involved with each other for 2.5 year prior to the pregnancy.  
 
I never met his parents as he didn't have a relationship with them while we were involved, however I wrote them a letter saying they could be part of this child's life if they so chose and sent to them via Canada post, they responded saying they had no interest in being involved in my child's life for their own personal reasons.  
 
Now the father and I had discussed finances prior and after he decided to not be involved, he told me from the get go if I ever needed anything to let him know. Well I never found him to be very reliable before I got pregnant so just a couple of weeks before I had my son I had informed him that I will be seeing a lawyer to make sure I get sole custody and child support. He said okay and he was fine with that.  
 
Well I can say I have never messaged him saying it would be helpful for him to have bought diapers or formula or anything because the last time we had talked I asked if he wanted to see ultrasound pictures or know anything about the baby and he said no and that none of that had anything to do with him.  
 
So just this last January (my son was 9 months old) I started the process for child support and sole custody, it has taken a while but just two days ago I got a call from maintenance enforcement saying they were working on my file.  
 
I'm not sure if he will pay what he owes but I do know that if he doesnt there will be interest added on and they will start freezing his accounts after a period of time not paying.  
 
I would like to say at the end of the day I didn't go for child support because I'm money hungry, I went for child support because raising a child is not only mentally and physically exhausting it's also financially exhausting, daycare cost me $500-550 a month I don't get much from child benefits and I have a full time career. If it wasn't for my parents providing a roof over our heads we would be living in low income housing, IF I could even be approved and truthfully I don't think I could however I don't know how I would financially afford a home, clothing and food on my wages. And to get the wages I need daycare. So the money we hopefully start getting from child support will be for the remaining amount of daycare that's not covered by the child benefits, then hopefully saving for our own little home for my son to grow up in, as well as providing the food and clothing he needs.

Why are you women getting pregnant, when you are not even in a stable relationship? There all different types of birth control. (I do know slip ups happen). But if you are in a stable relationship why are you making babies? The next 18 years of your life will be hell financially if you are already on here asking about child support. Aldo, you will have to keep in contact with the father if they want any part of the child's life. Visitation, partial custody, money issues, you both want to attend a child's event and hate each other. There is one innocent victim in all of this, the life of a child.

Does it ever get chilly up on the moral high ground? Wow, I am so appalled by some of the comments on this thread. I don't normally bother commenting on anything on this site, but this made be quite angry. The OP was just looking for some advice, she didn't ask for judgement or comments regarding her choices. What gives any of us the right to bombard this lady with uncalled for questions and down right nasty statements? I also don't understand why some of you are demanding that she tells you her life story. There is no need for it, she was just asking for some advice. If you don't have anything positive to say, just keep your mouth shut! Honestly, I am just in shock at some of the horrendous comments on this thread. I really hope that none of you ever find yourselves in a difficult situation. To the OP, I want to apologize to you for having to read some of the comments made. I also hope that you get the support and assistance that you need. I am also sorry that I am unable to offer any advice. But it looks like you have received some sensible advice from a few people on here. I was you all th best.

Agreed with everything Buttonbean just said. YOU have a long journey ahead of you... and guess what? It is up to YOU on whether that is a positive journey or a negative journey. YOU must decide each and every morning that you have this beautiful little life to raise and to turn into a good person. I have been there. There's going to be ups and there's going to be downs, but I pray you have an amazing family and support system behind you. I did and I thank the Lord for that everyday. I NEVER in a million years would have guessed Id be the single mom. NEVER. Noone did. I followed life by the book, straight arrow, A grades, smart, educated, and respected. Sometimes we find ourselves in these situations and guess what, you'll never know how strong you are until strong is your only option. Sweety, its time for you to be strong now. You are going to get scared, nervous and you are going to feel shame. I still feel shame to this day. Like I said, I NEVER expected to be a single mom. My child is now 8 and I dont regret one single thing. He is AMAZING and I AM AMAZING. I am educated and I provide for not only my son on my own as child support hasnt been coming for half a year, but I own a house, new car and am educated, work full time and continue to pursue education. YOU and YOU alone can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. DO NOT RELY ON OTHERS FOR HELP, ADVICE OR FINANCIALS. Accept help, advice, financials, but know that you dont have to. You can do it on your won. You must always remember that this little life is counting on you to be responsible. And look at that... here you are asking for advice! GREAT first step. I am happy you are being proactive to this situation. Knowing your rights and what each parent is responsible for and possibly even having mediation and getting visitation/child support set up in advance is a GREAT idea. The biggest tip I got when I separated was get IT LEGAL AND IN WRITING!!! I cannot force this fact enough. It is a HUGE burden off your shoulders once its left to the lawyers decision and done. Child support is a legal decision on the amount based off their T4 and and the law decides how often = which is monthly. The law doesn't create child support to shame us into thinking we are not capable of providing for our child on our own or make us sound money hungry - it is there because it is FAIR. Two people made the baby, two people support the baby. In ALL aspects, not just money. So all you negative commenting folks should shut your trap and return to your white picket fence life and mind your own business. There was a great child hood story ya'll may remember - Bambi? "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."  
Call Brandon's Legal Aid office today - RIGHT NOW. Also go down to the law office off Princess and 11th I think it is and talk to the Maintenance Enforcement people there. Go NOW. Stop reading all these ridiculous comments and get your life in order. Future you will thank current you.  
Good luck, safe pregnancy and healthy delivery to you and baby. God bless.