Discussions

Parents... I need a laugh today so what are some of the funniest, most embarrassing things your child has done or said?

I don't have kids, but when I was about 7 or 8 my mom took me to McDonald's on 18th street for supper. We got our food and sat down on the long, yellow plastic foam covered benches on the right side of the restaurant leading to the bathrooms. I sat on a bolted down chair across from my mom who sat on the end of the bench. The only other people in the area were sitting by the bathrooms at the other end of the bench and across, like us. She let one rip, thinking and hoping it was a silent stinker but it wasn't. I simultaneously heard it and watched it travel down the bench in a yellow wave until it jostled the man on the other end, startling and causing him to look around confused. I, being the little brat that I was, found it hilarious and jumped up and down in my seat, yelling, "She did it! She farted!!" My mom squirmed in her seat and turned beat red. I don't remember what happened after, but she never took me there again!

Many years ago when my son was 4 years old we started taking out books from the local library (Nanaimo BC). Each week we'd take out the number of books that would fit into a backpack. So, a lot of books were hauled each week from library to home and back. Nanaimo Library's book return was a "leave the books on the counter". This inveritably meant that before some books were counted as returned, they were scooped up by prospective readers. For about 6 months, each time we took out books, we were fined for books that we'd returned but someone else had scooped up and taken out. As pennies were tight in our family, paying fines for books that we brought back began to grate on my one nerve. Finally on the seventh month of paying fines for books we'd brought back and not been credited, I'd had it. At the library desk with a load of books waiting to be taken out the librarian said those immortal words, "You have a fine of $1.00. Please pay it now or you can't take out any more books". I began stomping my feet and waving my hands around in the air saying that I was sooo done with the stupid library system that constantly caused problems to their patrons. As I'm ranting and raving stating that yes we had brought back that book, I can feel a tiny hand yanking at my pants. I finally calmed down and turned to my son who said in a very small voice, "But Mom, that book is actually under my bed. We didn't bring it back last week".  
Thud. My heart dropped.  
I apologized to the librarian and handed over the dollar. After we got our weekly books checked out, I slunk out of the library and made sure never to return during that particular librarian's work hours.  
My son, on the other hand, thought it was real funny to see Mom red in the face and doing an angry dance in the library.

son used to have brown sugar and cinnamon on toast all the time. Once mistook shake and bake for brown sugar. took him 3 bites before he realized it wasn't sugar.

When I was young I could read at a fairly advanced level for my age. I learned to slowly sound out the word and put it all together and figure out what it must sound like. One day while dining at a very busy truckstop with my mom and two very shy bachelor uncles, I learned a new word. It was on a label on a vending machine inside the men's washroom. It took me quite a while to figure this word out but I was so proud and excited when I sounded it out and someone in the bathroom confirmed I was saying it right. I ran out into the packed restaurant exclaiming: "Prophylactic!!! prophylactic!!! Mom, what's a prophylactic?" Most all the adult crowd in the restaurant laughed and many other young kids at dinner tables asked their parents: "mom, dad what's a prophylactic- that kid is screaming prophylactic, why?"  
If my uncles could have both hid under the table of embarrassment, i'm sure they would have if there was room.

My oldest son, when he was about 2, once threw up in the face of the very nice elderly lady that was playing peek-a-boo with him in a crowded restaurant. Now I'm not talking about a little spit up. Full throttle projectile with deadly accuracy. Snapped her head back. She was amazing about it stating she had grandchildren and that wasn't the first time she had been hit with a nasty baby blast. I offered to pay for any dry cleaning and even to pay for their meal but she would have no part of that. Luckily they were leaving when this happened so it didn't ruin her meal. When I went to pay I was shocked that see she had paid for our order. I was so amazed at how well she took this and was grateful she was such a good sport about it. Funny or embarrassing?....you decide. That's my story....one of many.