Discussions

So clearly the world (especially Brandon, MB) is plagued by singleness. It's an epidemic, really. Ok, that's a bit dramatic.... moving on.  
 
So here's a crazy idea. What if, instead of sitting at home being lonely and whiny, or going to the bars getting blotto and stumbling home alone... what if you just said to some random person "Hey! You seem cool. Are you single?"  
 
SAY WHAT?!?!  
 
I know right...  
 
It shocks me how often a guy gives me googly eyes, or sparks up a conversation, but then walks away. On the very rare occasion - I'm talking once every 2 years - I've had a random guy approach me or my friend asking exactly that. The guy behind me in line at the checkout bumped into me again in the parking lot and simply said "Hey, are you available for coffee sometime?". Another guy noticed we had a mutual friend and asked her "Is your friend single? You should get me her number." I was impressed enough to actually go on dates with these people.  
 
Believe it or not, I've actually done it a few times too! (A woman?! Approach a man? AMAZE!!) I got into a hilarious conversation with a bartender, and finally said to him "Do you have a girlfriend?" (He did... which brings me to my next point)  
 
We're all scared of rejection, right? It's way easier to just hide behind POF or stand quietly in the corner waiting for Prince(ss) Charming to come rescue you. I know. But the neat part about rejection is, it won't kill you. Actually it can't even make you bleed or bruise you. The worst it can do is make a Sad Trombone sound in your head. "Wah-wa-waaaah"  
 
See, most people are kind enough or will be so complimented, they will be sure to give you a soft rejection, so as to protect your delicate ego. Even if The Worst Person on the Planet takes one look at you and says "Ew" all Jimmy Fallon style, you can sleep soundly knowing that The Worst Person on the Planet will never be a part of your life, and that's a win.  
 
Let's discuss some rejection scripts:  
REJECTION: "No, I have a girlfriend"  
REPLY: "Well tell her she's a lucky girl for me!"  
 
REJECTION: "Aw, that awesome, but I'm not dating right now."  
REPLY: "That's cool, I just had to ask."  
 
REJECTION: "Not in a thousand years, Creep."  
REPLY: "Alrighty then! You have a nice day!"  
 
REJECTION: "No"  
REPLY: "Ok, sorry to bother you."  
 
REJECTION: *pulls out pepper spray and starts screaming* "STRANGER DANGER!"  
REPLY: *do an about-face and run like hell*  
 
Thoughts? Suggestions? Sarcastic eBrandon Troll comments?

Your positive attitude rocks! It's a great idea. I mean really, how did our parents get together? or their parents? EXACTLY that way!

But I'm too chicken to even start. I used to do this and it didn't bother me then, but I seem to have lost my mojo along the way. Maybe I'll get up the courage again. I wish you luck with your method.

This totally made me smile because it is so true!

JanetAnne said "So clearly the world (especially Brandon, MB) is plagued by singleness. It's an epidemic, really. Ok, that's a bit dramatic.... moving on.     So here's a crazy idea. What if, instead of sitting at home being lonely and whiny, or going to the bars getting blotto and stumbling home alone... what if you just said to some random person "Hey! You seem cool. Are you single?"     SAY WHAT?!?!     I know right...     It shocks me how often a guy gives me googly eyes, or sparks up a conversation, but then walks away. On the very rare occasion - I'm talking once every 2 years - I've had a random guy approach me or my friend asking exactly that. The guy behind me in line at the checkout bumped into me again in the parking lot and simply said "Hey, are you available for coffee sometime?". Another guy noticed we had a mutual friend and asked her "Is your friend single? You should get me her number." I was impressed enough to actually go on dates with these people.     Believe it or not, I've actually done it a few times too! (A woman?! Approach a man? AMAZE!!) I got into a hilarious conversation with a bartender, and finally said to him "Do you have a girlfriend?" (He did... which brings me to my next point)     We're all scared of rejection, right? It's way easier to just hide behind POF or stand quietly in the corner waiting for Prince(ss) Charming to come rescue you. I know. But the neat part about rejection is, it won't kill you. Actually it can't even make you bleed or bruise you. The worst it can do is make a Sad Trombone sound in your head. "Wah-wa-waaaah"     See, most people are kind enough or will be so complimented, they will be sure to give you a soft rejection, so as to protect your delicate ego. Even if The Worst Person on the Planet takes one look at you and says "Ew" all Jimmy Fallon style, you can sleep soundly knowing that The Worst Person on the Planet will never be a part of your life, and that's a win.     Let's discuss some rejection scripts:   REJECTION: "No, I have a girlfriend"   REPLY: "Well tell her she's a lucky girl for me!"     REJECTION: "Aw, that awesome, but I'm not dating right now."   REPLY: "That's cool, I just had to ask."     REJECTION: "Not in a thousand years, Creep."   REPLY: "Alrighty then! You have a nice day!"     REJECTION: "No"   REPLY: "Ok, sorry to bother you."     REJECTION: *pulls out pepper spray and starts screaming* "STRANGER DANGER!"   REPLY: *do an about-face and run like hell*     Thoughts? Suggestions? Sarcastic eBrandon Troll comments? "

My allergies are kicking my ass and I slammed my finger in a window frame today, but you made me giggle, thank you OP.

These are hilarious..... but it shows our grandparents had the same problem, lol.  
 
http://funny.lifebuzz.com/escort-cards/

Those escort cards are HILARIOUS!!! I can't believe that was a thing. LOL!  
 
As for being too shy or offending the other party, I'd suggest leaving the Joey Tribiani act back in 1994 where it belongs. It is unnatural (which probably makes you more nervous) and it's very forward (which could offend the Sweet Thang you are trying to talk to).  
 
Here are 10 tips from this Positive (but totally not an expert) Dater:  
 
1. Get out there!! You're not gonna meet ANYBODY holed up at home. Join a sport. Take a class. Get a part-time job. Find a new hobby. Go see a band. At bare minimum, when you're out running errands, open your eyes and hold your head up high!  
 
2. Make eye contact. And don't be afraid hold it...  
 
3. Smile! Always! Look for the things worth smiling about (like old couples holding hands) or think about all the positives in your life (like your pet!) Even if you have no particular reason, smiling makes you more attractive to others, and I promise it will give you a confidence boost  
 
4. Apply tips 2 and 3 simultaneously. This is important. Making eye contact with any facial expression other than a smile will leave them reaching for the pepper spray.  
 
5. Read the room. Make sure they're in a state to chat, and talk about things that relate to the situation. Telling someone "I can't live without Nutella" makes sense when you're in the grocery store, both filling your basket with Nutella... telling someone "I can't live without Nutella" as you both exit a public washroom area is just creepy. Similarly, asking a fellow gym rat about their workout routine makes sense. Asking a fellow gym rat "Do you come here often?" or "Have you seen the new Pitch Perfect movie?" or "Do you like cats?" would be awkward and annoying when Sweet Thang is trying to workout. If you can't think of a natural way to strike up a conversation, don't worry about it. You'll get 'em next time  
 
6. You know what's not natural? Pick-up lines! Ugh! Don't even bother! In fact, don't even hint at sexy times or Sweet Thang's body. Pick-up lines are the main reason women hate being hit on in public. Being objectified sucks. Sweet Thang is a living, breathing, intelligent human. Treat them as such.  
 
7. Be confident! To do this, you must let go of your expectations. They might say yes, they might say no, they might be a total asshat. Either way, their response is about them and who they are and where they're at - it has nothing to do with you. You're still You, no matter what they say. In fact, you are a better, braver You just for putting yourself out there.  
 
8. If you do get rejected, don't get offended or angry or sad or awkward. (This is another reason women hate being hit on in public - the fear of HULK SMASH happening after the rejection) Rejection is a normal part of life, it's no big deal. Memorize the "REPLIES" from my original post. Even if Sweet Thang was really rude, rise above their nastiness with a polite response. Then dust yourself off and try again. They won't all be that rude. Scout's honor.  
 
9. HAVE FUN!!! I could open a whole other thread on how ANNOYING dating can be today! (Online dating, blind dates, expectations, deadlines, societal pressure, mind games, texting-texting-texting, and don't even get me started on cheating, UGH!!!) We all know it's awful. But honestly, this dating thing isn't supposed to be so hard. Just relax, enjoy the little wins, and roll with the punches.  
 
10. Don't ever forget - You deserve to be happy whether you're with someone or not. So just be your best self and do what makes you happy!  
 
Edited by JanetAnne, 2015-06-08 13:37:54

I would have a a convo with someone if they approached me but I can't do it myself I'm shy and honestly have this fear that they will look at me like uh what are you doing if I did

countryboy 84 said "Ill agre 100% with you, if only everyone shared youre enthusisam and positive outlook. Myself, ill stop and talk to anyone who takes the time to stop and start a conversation with me. Only probelm is its usually a person who is around 70 or 80 and looking for someone to visit! haha Not that theres anything worng with that...... just be nice if someone a little closer to my age tried it once! lol     My question is for the single ladies or even ladies in general, how many can honestly say they would either be receptive to this or that they would be the ones getting the mace out and calling the cops! "

That 80 year old may have a granddaughter they could introduce to you.  
 
Never restrict your conversations to only prospective dates. Network and get your wonderful personality known by many because you never know who has a friend that is also looking for a special someone.  
 
Edited by katwalk1909, 2015-06-15 01:02:19