Discussions

he snuck around to have sex with a stranger instead of spending time with his wife and child now he's homeless.  
 
what part of this is attractive to you?  
 
he's using you.

MindyLasson24 said "I appreciate everyones comments and opinions. Right now he is staying part time with me and part time with his buddy from work. I'm not proud of what's happened. I don't even know if this is my decision to make. "

what are you teaching your daughter? You may have no respect for yourself by being the "other woman", but now your daughter s very much involved as he lives at your place part time.  
 
Perhaps, you should quit thinking about you and him and how it will affect your child. No good will come out of this for you two "adults (using that word loosely), but the poor "child"will suffer if she adores this older man, as most young girls do....and he leaves.  
 
So, think about your child, his child, his wife...and you. The children will get hurt, you will get hurt and he will move on and cheat again and again.

So many people do not respect marriage anymore. Either their own or someone else's. Cheating has become the norm. Divorce follows. It doesn't help that society seems to encourage depravity and selfishness. Not judging, just an observation.

I think you should be ashamed of yourself. You're just as bad as him. I hope his poor wife leaves his loser ass and takes everything. And then he finds a newer model and you find out what it's like to be cheated on.  
I have no sympathy for you. I do, however, feel awful for his poor wife. I've been there. The wife who constantly worries that he's with someone else. Worried about what disease he'll bring home.  
 
He wants his cake and eat her too. Enjoy being the side piece. Hope you don't expect their child to respect you

People stop already. She feels badly enough. All you perfect individuals, maybe we should start harping on you for all your stupid choices. Enough already. She needs support not to be trashed.

So what is happening here is morally wrong. But i think the OP is clearly aware of that. We have no idea what the history is between her and the man, or him and his wife. And while cheating is absolutely never okay, we also all need to remember tgat relationships are incredibly complex and people make mistakes.  
 
However, i think its interesting that under the safety of online anonymity, so many People are attacking this girl. I dont know who she is, but neither do you guys. But id bet you people wouldnt act this way in person. Youd pretrnd to be all nice and caller her names behind her back. How lucky for you jilted-lovers and judgy biddys that you get the opportunity to be so mean spirited without having to whisper it under your breath or gossip about it to your friends and neighbors.

Do you not want to be in a committed relationship?? Because you are not, you are not in a committed relationship if he is married. He is not even staying with you full time. You have a child who is seeing a man come and go, what kind of example are you setting.  
 
I was once engaged to a guy and caught him cheating on me. I value myself and deserved to be with someone who also valued me. I broke things off that night and had moved back to Manitoba by the end of the week. Many of my friends said I was so strong and I find that sad that people think it takes strength to value yourself.  
 
Be in a relationship that you don’t have to question or worry about if he will stay or go. Be with someone who values you.

when he's not with you where is he? Ya think?  
save yourself from boarding the Titanic

"Wow people...  
Posted by underXtheXradar, 10/23/2017 8:55:58 PM  
So what is happening here is morally wrong. But i think the OP is clearly aware of that. We have no idea what the history is between her and the man, or him and his wife. And while cheating is absolutely never okay, we also all need to remember tgat relationships are incredibly complex and people make mistakes.  
 
However, i think its interesting that under the safety of online anonymity, so many People are attacking this girl. I dont know who she is, but neither do you guys. But id bet you people wouldnt act this way in person. Youd pretrnd to be all nice and caller her names behind her back. How lucky for you jilted-lovers and judgy biddys that you get the opportunity to be so mean spirited without having to whisper it under your breath or gossip about it to your friends and neighbors."  
 
I would say it to their face. I have no sympathy for those who cheat or their willing partners. Have you ever been cheated on by your spouse? Been given their mistress's STD? I've been through too much to put up with any cheating crap.

I suggest you pull back right now and let him assess his feelings and marriage. There are children involved who will be affected negatively.  
If it’s meant to be long term, it will not matter if you wait till the timing is right. He will be bringing his “ baggage” into your relationship and you may end up being the rebound.  
He would benefit from Counselling to explore his Feelings around this Messy Affair.

Listener said "People stop already. She feels badly enough. All you perfect individuals, maybe we should start harping on you for all your stupid choices. Enough already. She needs support not to be trashed. "

She should feel aweful. There aren't enough words to make her feel bad enough. She needs support? Seriously? The only people who need any support here is this mans wife and child. They are the victims. She is a willing participant in this, no one should feel bad for her or support her. If she wants support maybe she should act like a decent human being with morals and self respect, not running around being some home wrecking whore. "She needs support" Phhhhhh

First of all. People can call you names all they want. Fact is they don’t understand the situation that leads up to a situationship such as yours.  
 
Second. Sadly enough it’s rare that the man actually leaves his family for his affair. It has happened I’ll admit, but statistically they usually don’t.  
 
My advice. Pull away slowly. It’s going to hurt like hell but believe me, sharing someone hurts far more in the end unless it’s a mutual agreement among the whole unit and in this case it doesn’t sound like it is.  
 
Take some time to find yourself, don’t be harsh or angry about it though as that only eats at you, and move on with your life.  
 
I wish you all the best with whichever direction you choose to go in. It’s not going to be easy either way.

You need to explain to this individual that the affair is over until such time as he has obtained his final decree of divorce - then walk away and don't look back. If he contacts you once he has his decree absolute of divorce then you'll know he had feelings for you. If he doesn't contact you and chooses to work on saving his marriage then accept the fact you were nothing more then his temporary play toy.

Sassenach said ""Wow people...   Posted by underXtheXradar, 10/23/2017 8:55:58 PM   So what is happening here is morally wrong. But i think the OP is clearly aware of that. We have no idea what the history is between her and the man, or him and his wife. And while cheating is absolutely never okay, we also all need to remember tgat relationships are incredibly complex and people make mistakes.     However, i think its interesting that under the safety of online anonymity, so many People are attacking this girl. I dont know who she is, but neither do you guys. But id bet you people wouldnt act this way in person. Youd pretrnd to be all nice and caller her names behind her back. How lucky for you jilted-lovers and judgy biddys that you get the opportunity to be so mean spirited without having to whisper it under your breath or gossip about it to your friends and neighbors."     I would say it to their face. I have no sympathy for those who cheat or their willing partners. Have you ever been cheated on by your spouse? Been given their mistress's STD? I've been through too much to put up with any cheating crap. "

You asked me if I've ever been cheated on. I absolutely have. Years ago by someone I was supposed to marry. With my best friend. It destroyed me for a really long time.  
 
And even with that, I have enough human decency and understanding to realize that relationships are extremely complicated and people make terrible mistakes. I have never cheated. I would never condone cheating. If my spouse cheated on me now, I would absolutely leave. But at the same time, I recognize that my situation is not the same as everyone else's situation.  
 
There is an element of complexity and history in every relationship, and I think that name calling is just entirely unhelpful. Do you think it's going to change the OP's mind? Nope. People dont learn or grow that way. It's just hurtful for the sake of being hurtful.

Listener said "People stop already. She feels badly enough. All you perfect individuals, maybe we should start harping on you for all your stupid choices. Enough already. She needs support not to be trashed. "

by coming on e-brandon and admitting to an affair, she had to have known the answers she was going to get. Herself posting this, means she knowns it is wrong....so maybe she needed some harsh answers.  
 
If she felt that bad, she would not be having an affair with a married man and children involved.  
 
She needs support - after she dumps a cheater and really what is she....knowing she is dating/part time living with a married man?

He wants to work on his marriage for the sake of his wife and young child. I don't blame him and its likely for the best. I was never going to be fully accepted by his friends, and family. My family and friends were likely never going to accept him either. It stings a lot but its what's best for the kids involved. I know he "loved" me but I also knew he loved his wife and child more. Thank u to everyone who shared their stories and helped me see the light.

MindyLasson24 said "He wants to work on his marriage for the sake of his wife and young child. I don't blame him and its likely for the best. I was never going to be fully accepted by his friends, and family. My family and friends were likely never going to accept him either. It stings a lot but its what's best for the kids involved. I know he "loved" me but I also knew he loved his wife and child more. Thank u to everyone who shared their stories and helped me see the light. "

unfortunately i believe thats for the best, He may have cared about you and his wife and kids but he choose not to work on his family issues and start this affair with you. Once you found out you should have cut him off, I get that its hard once you are attached but really why did you not get mad, like really mad that he would do that to you? or his family? Do you not deserve better? before you get into your next relationship think about why you didnt and what YOU WANT, NEED and DESERVE

You were not the one who made this choice, however it will be the best for everyone in the long run. If things don't work his wife then at least its not your fault now. Just wash your hands of it and walk away, consider it a learning experience and a reason why to date only single men from now on.

If he does or doesn’t make it work with his wife, it is NOT your fault! It was his decision to cheat on his wife and lie to you, he’s to blame. You were manipulated and he will do that to many more.

Since it sounds as if the OP has had the outcome from this thread that they were looking for I'm going to close it to further discussion. OP if you'd like it re-opened for any reason at any point in the future don't hesitate to drop me a note!