Discussions

This is how it goes. We buried the cremated remains of our mom and dad this fall: we ordered the headstone and paid for it, it will be placed at the grave site in the spring. My two brothers are executors of the will, they are the ones that wrote and signed the cheque on my mothers account to pay for it. We have been having disagreements on the wording on the headstone and to avoid a big argument at an inconvenient time, my sister and I acquiesce. The next day my sister and I decided that we would like our personal tribute to our mom and dad inscribed on the headstone as well as our brothers’ choice. There’s enough room on the stone, we agree our brothers have right to put what they want but we believe we do as well. Note I say “added” we did not change their wording in any way, we just added our sentiment and with the help of the memorial suppliers it looked really nice (they did a mock up on their computer). We didn’t tell our brothers because they have not been receptive to us and seemed intent on belittling our suggestions although my sister and I had been the primary caregivers to our mom and they had VERY little to do with her( our dad died at an earlier date). Well the memorial personnel contacted our brothers with the update (I have no problem with that, they did what they were required) Now our brothers are insisting this will not happen and we cannot put our sentiments on the stone come hell or high water. I don’t think they can do that: my sister and I are our parent’s children too, not less or greater than they, the addition of our words does not cost a penny more to the original price. They may be executors, to handle the distribution of the inheritance (we are in no way interfering with that), there was no mention of a headstone in the will let alone what to put on it. I think they’re getting a little carried away, being petty, hurtful and showing no respect for our feelings or for our mom and dad. Does anyone know about this kind of thing? Do we have to see a lawyer?