Discussions

1. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.  
 
2. You let your 15-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.  
 
3. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.  
 
4. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.  
 
5. You think a woman who is 'out of your league' bowls on a different night.  
 
6. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.  
 
7. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'  
 
8. You think Dom Perignon is the Mayor of Mariapolis.  
9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.  
 
10. You think a ‘Modem’ is how you destroy Dandelions in Brandon.  
 
11. You think the last words of ‘Oh Canada' are ‘Gentlemen, start your engines' at a demolition derby.  
 
12. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.  
 
13. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.  
 
14. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse  
 
15. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.  
 
16. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.  
 
17. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.  
 
18. One of your kids was born on a pool table.  
 
19. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.  
 
20. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at Warlock Tattoos.  
 
21. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.  
 
22. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.  
23. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.  
 
24. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.  
 
25. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.  
 
26. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.  
27. You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting a deer at 60 miles an hour.  
 
28. You think the four seasons are Salt, Pepper, Mustard, and Tabasco.  
 
29. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.  
 
30. You carry jumper Cables in your car.  
 
31. Your wife knows how to use them.  
 
32. You take a load to the dump and return with more than you took.  
 
33. You have spray painted your girl friends name on a Water Tower, R.R. Bridge or Overpass.  
 
34. When asked for I.D. you show them your Belt Buckle.  
 
35. Your Daughters job requires her to wear an orange vest.