Discussions

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending: and to have the two as close together as possible  
 
- George Burns  
 
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.  
 
- Victor Borge  
 
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.  
 
- Mark Twain  
 
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy: if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher  
 
- Socrates  
 
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.  
 
- Groucho Marx  
 
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.  
 
- Zsa Zsa Gabor  
 
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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.  
 
- Rodney Dangerfield  
 
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Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.  
 
- Spike Milligan  
 
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.  
 
- Joe Namath  
 
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We could certainly slow the aging process if it had to work its way through Congress.  
 
- Will Rogers  
 
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.  
 
- Winston Churchill  
 
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.  
 
- Billy Crystal  
 
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue:  
- 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'  
 
-Eleanor Roosevelt  
 
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And the cardiologist's diet:  
 
- If it tastes good spit it out.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Edited by Robert Booth, 2010-06-28 08:04:10