Discussions

I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.- -  
 
Women should not have children after 35.  
Really...35 children are enough.  
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Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85  
cents at bowling alleys.  
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After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.  
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I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.  
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I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!  
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Everyday I beat my own previous record for  
number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.  
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Two peanuts were walking down the street.  
One was asalted.  
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"No one ever says "It's only a game," when  
their team is winning."  
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I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: CHECKOUT TIME IS 18."  
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How come we choose from just two people  
for president and 50 for Miss America?  
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Ever notice that people who spend money on  
beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?  
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How long a minute is depends on what side  
of the bathroom door you're on.  
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On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was...surrounded by trees and bushes.  
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Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.  
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Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?  
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Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?  
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I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.  
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The next time you feel like complaining, remember:  
Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.