Discussions

I spent my New Year’s Eve at the Rec. Centre. The occasion was a Social for a young lady I have known all her life.  
 
There was a large crowd and good music, much dancing, many items for Dutch Auction.  
 
My friends won a $400 Barbeque. There was a Stretch Limo to take the revelers home.  
 
Here is some advice for couples about to “Tie the Knot”.  
 
Before you Marry read these lines and remember:  
 
That baldness is no disgrace.  
That few women care for Politics.  
That Jealousy is not a proof of love.  
That the “Lodge Story” has whiskers.  
That a loud tone is not an argument.  
That boys and girls still like a Circus.  
That the golden rule is a good old rule.  
That carving a fowl is one of the fine arts.  
That there can be no love like the old love.  
That children’s shoes are not indestructible.  
That there are limits to a woman’s credulity.  
That the Landlord loveth a prompt paying tenant.  
That the walls of an apartment house have ears.  
That after all, your wife dresses to please you.  
That family affairs should never be mixed with your drinks.  
That you should set the example where there are children.  
That it may be profitable to get your wife to learn the Typewriter.  
That women, when given the chance, become enthusiastic anglers.  
That you are not the possessor of the only palate in the household.  
That you should keep up your life insurance if you are a poor man.  
That your wife may grow as tired of “the house” as you do of “the office.”  
That no woman grows too old not to enjoy the gift of cut flowers.  
That it is well to pretend an interest in the contents of “The letter from Ma.”  
That a few dollars in the Savings Bank is a comfortable thing to reflect upon.  
That no household in which there are growing girls should be without a piano.  
That women have many things that make them “Cranky” and you are one of them.  
That a man who buys an Ice Cream Freezer is generally called upon to turn it.  
That letters entrusted in your care are to be mailed, not filed in your inside pocket.  
 
Credulity: a willingness to believe or trust too readily, esp. without proper or adequate evidence: gullibility.  
 
Source: Brandon Mail. Thursday January 2nd 1896. 5 cents a copy.