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This morning at 9:46am my Family dog who lives at my mother and fathers was put to sleep. I still lived there for a couple years after we got her and she was my baby. I took her to school, I trained her the basic sit, stay, shake a paw, I took her on daily walks. I moved out 2 years later. I frequently visited my parents and walked and took Echo (the dog) out. In the last probably 6 or 7 years (or more) of her life I was the ONLY one who walked her at all. I would always come back from these walks and tell my mother how much she loves walking and that they should do it to. Of course none of them ever did. This went on for years.. Me mentioning, but no one doing it. They would get annoyed because she wanted in and out constantly. I told them she's probably bored and would enjoy to be out in the world more. Now I'm just mad at them, and more mad at myself. Although I did what I could with her, I feel I should have done more. The last three weeks before this morning I took her to the dog park twice, she could barely walk but I seen how much she STILL, despite her pian,enoyed being out in the world. My mother never worked, she sat at home all day with that girl and never ever did nothing with her. I'm angry and so sad. Is this wrong???? I know you can't set back the clock and fix things. She was a spoiled dog, I'll give them that. But what about life, I feel hers could have been better. Now I can't change it Last night when I went there to say my final goodbyes she kissed my cheek three times.. she NEVER EVER kisses or licks.. I felt like that was her telling me I did good by her, the best I could considering I didn't even live there. As I was standing at the door preparing to leave she just stared me down, I think she was telling.. As crazy as it sounds, That I did good. Why do I feel so angry and guilty and sad. Is this normal? I'm not saying I'm better then my family or even trying to judge them. There is just this guilt, this anger and I can't help it. The last few years when she would get out of the gate and I was leaving she would jump in my car and try to come with me. I did take her for a few sleepovers.. But I could have done more... I should have taken her more... They should have to.. Why am I feeling all this?? It's like I've felt it for years but right now it's just boiling in me! I just want to remember our final trip to the dog park.. When I layed on the pic nic table seat and she layed on the ground next to me.. I put my arm around her and we were happy. Or the way she stuck her heard out the window of my car for the last time and I could see her taking it all in. Are these feelings normal? Who else has felt this kind of anger and pain and guilt? I don't want to be mad at my family, or myself. My family, They're hurting to, They're good people... How do I forgive? Please share your stories, I would like to know how others dealt with it....  
 
 
 
Please note my family did love her, The best they knew how. She was spoiled and very very loved, she even outlived all her brothers and sisters from what we heard from the people who bred her....  
 
 
 
R.I.P Echo, I love you so much. And will forever miss you... And I'm sorry.  
 
Edited by TheUglyTruth, 2010-04-26 11:45:51